With a Little Help from a Friend
by sj372419
Summary: What if Scarlett found a best friend as selfish, spoiled and bossy as she is. This dynamic duo would shake up all the old peahens in Atlanta. Set after Rhett's leaving, it is a movie version, sans Wade and Ella
1. Chapter 1

A Little Help from a Friend

Chapter 1:

All Saint's day was a tradition that Scarlett's mother had held onto from her French Catholic upbringing, and this year it was most important to Scarlett to uphold it, for Bonnie and Melanie.

The wind rattled the shutters on Scarlett's bedroom window, beckoning her from her warm bed. It had been a week since Melanie's funeral, and Scarlett had begun to prepare for her trip to Tara, where she planned to stay until after New Years. Suellen must have spit nails when she got the telegram yesterday.

The house was so quiet, Scarlett had curled up by the fire with Brandy and chocolate last night and fell asleep in the chair, hoping the pranksters wouldn't bother her house last night, It was Pork closing up the shutters at midnight that woke her up, and she trudged up to her empty bed.

Rhett had been gone two weeks now, without a word. And her habit of an evening brandy now included five or six chocolate bonbons, to make her stomach stop growling from the dinner she couldn't stomach. He had left for longer, and returned to her, and she had made going to Tara her first priority, and she would deal with Rhett when, and if he returned.

"He cant stay away forever," Scarlett told herself, as the brandy/chocolate stupor overcame her each night.

Prissy brought her the huge tray, and the coffee seemed to be the only appetizing item on the tray. SHe placed it on the side of the bed, and smiled, "Good Morning, Miz Scarlett."

"Good Morning, Prissy, get me something warm to wear today, I'm going to visit the cemetery," barked Scarlett as she stirred cream in her coffee.

"You going there again?" Prissy asked with big eyes.

"lm bringing flowers, if it's your business."

Prissy ignored Scarlett's bad mood and set to her work of dressing her mistress.

Scarlett picked at the fluffy stack of eggs and tried to eat a spoon or two, but the eggs felt like lead in her mouth, as she willed herself to swallow them. She dropped the fork, and went to her vanity.

"I'm finished, Prissy, bring the tray back to the kitchen."

"But, you never ate your toast and-"

"I dont want it, its terrible!" Scarlett called over her shoulder as she brushed her hair.

She just couldn't bring herself to eat, the food would not go down her throat, and her ravenous nature was dulled. Scarlett stared into the mirror and passed her hand over her cheeks, the usual plumpness was gone, and her eyes had dark circles in spite of her long hours of sleep.

"I have to get a hold of myself," Scarlett thought to herself, but her body felt as though a demon had control, and she couldn't eat, but slept for hours at a time, and her body felt a surge of pin pricks that rose from her chest and attacked her head, bringing her to the point of fainting as she panted to catch her breath.

These spells had her worried at first, and they had started the day of Bonnie's funeral, but she never gotten sick, so she pushed it to the back of her mind, and dealt with her life as she usually did, with determination. But these spells were coming more often, now that Rhett was gone.

Tara would do her well to spend this time gathering her thoughts, and maybe the spells would go away. Yes, Tara is what she needed, but today was about honoring her beloved daughter and her best friend.

Prissy came back in the room, and started pinning Scarlett's hair, oblivious to the quiet that had come over Scarlett. Finally, Scarlett broke the silence and said, "Remind me to pass by Mrs. Leinder's shop, I need to pick up the winter dresses I ordered, even though I can't wear them until next year."

"Yes'm" Prissy said, "You want me to go with you?"

"Yes, I need you to stop by the florists, I ordered two bouquets, and then you need to go to the post office for me."

"Miz Scarlett, it's cold out there, and I don't like the cemetery."

"Prissy, you are my ladies' maid, you have to go!"

Prissy pouted and then she continued without a word, then she asked, "Miz Scarlett, what you going to do about CHristmas?"

"I wont be here, we're going to Tara for the holidays."

"I's going see Momma and Mammy?"

Scarlett looked at Prissy's face through the mirror, and smiled. She wished her world was so simple that a trip could bring a smile to her face like that, and her eyes started to fill with tears.

Two tears dripped on her hand, as her nose began to run, and she wiped it quick remembering the handkerchief that Rhett always kept handy for her. Scarlett opened her drawer to find one, when the case stared her in the face, Ashley's photo.

She tore the case from the drawer and clutched the case in her fist, "DAMN you!"

Prissy yelped as the curls were pulled from the pin and the case cracked on the floor near the fireplace. Scarlett settled herself back on the bench, and ordered Prissy, "Hurry up with my hair!"

Ashley had been locked up in the house since the funeral, and he barely spoke a word to a soul at the service. He attended the funeral that Scarlett and Aunt Pitty had planned, and never even uttered a "thank you" to Scarlett. He was lost in his own pain, and Beau was comforted by India, as the casket was closed on Melanie's coffin. Scarlett had decided to keep her distance for now, and deal with her own issues, but she would make a visit to size things up to AUnt Pitty's before she left for Tara, after all she promised Melly.

The wool suit stunk of the black dye, and Scarlett's only solace was that she could wear a pale gray blouse under the heavy black jacket, as she buttoned up the black buttons. SHe checked herself in the mirror, she looked tired and pale, she promised herself, no brandy tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

The fresh smell of roses and lilies filled the carriage causing Prissy to sneeze all the way to the cemetery. The squeaky sneezes wrought Scarlett's nerves, and she finally stopped the carriage at the post office.

"Get out, get the mail, and sit by the square, I'll meet you to walk to the dressmakers in an hour."

Prissy hopped out and hurried into the post office as a strong wind blew her shawl over her head.

Scarlett enjoyed the ride to the edge of town in silence surrounded by the smell of the pale pink roses tied in a blue bow, and the white, serene lilies tied in lavender. The solitude and the rocking of the carriage settled her nerves, or maybe it was just because Scarlett would be close to two people she loved. She missed the sounds and rhythm of life that had involved her family and friends, it seemed she was alone, alone in an abyss, and as much as she tried to come to terms with it, her soul yearned for human contact.

She carried the bouquets, one in each arm, as she headed up the hill to Bonnie's grave, the freshly carved granite bore her child's name, the name nobody ever used, Eugenie Victoria. The day she told Mammy her choice, the old woman gruffed, what kind of name is that Eugenie? It ought to be Ellen. Scarlett felt a pang of guilt, but told Mammy it was a French name , like Robillard, and she beamed.

Mammy had hoped Miss Ellen would had name one of her daughters after her mother, Solange, but to her dismay, Miss Ellen chose fashionable names of the time, with the exception of Katie Scarlett.

Scarlett had loved the French Creoles on New Orleans, they had reminded her of her mother's calm nature, and kindness to everyone. The creoles had a way of making any stranger feel welcome, and taking you in as their own. They even had friends they referred to as cousin, without a drop of blood between them. They were not like these hostile people in Atlanta who envied anyone's good fortune, and looked to pick for weaknesses to exploit.

Scarlett focused on her darling Bonnie, and placed the the bouquet of roses at the foot of the granite, and said a quiet prayer, ending with a whispered, "I love you, darling, my darling girl." Scarlett noticed the last bouquet she had left a week ago, was starting to brown, and the ribbon had faded to a gray in the sun.

As she made her way to Melanie's grave the abundance of flowers left a week ago wilted, and she knelt at the tiny headstone that read: Melanie Jane Hamilton Wilkes, beloved wife and mother, and placed the lilies on the still fresh ground. Scarlett's head started to tingle, and her breath was in short pants as her chest hurt. She lowered her head as in prayer at the Picards made their way to their graves. Maybelle's husband from New Orleans, always honored his mother and their stillborn child on All Saints' Day. Scarlett refused to look up, but heard the mumbled whispered and ignored them, praying she would faint from her spell. Scarlett started to pray the Hail Mary, as her breathing started to even out and her spell left her. Tears welled up in her eyes, and sobs racked her body, it felt good to cry, but she feared she wouldn't stop. The lilies looked vulgar sitting on top of the freshly ground black dirt, so she placed them on top the gravestone, refusing to look at the name. Scarlett wasn't ready accept that Melanie was under the dirt, dead in a coffin in the ground. She would eventually, like she did Bonnie, but it would be a while.

A sob distracted Scarlett from her own pain, and she turned and noticed another woman bending by a grave crying, and praying in another language. She wasn't one of the Atlanta sewing circles attendees, she was petite, with dark hair, and skin the color of warm toast, she reminded Scarlett of some of the creole's in New Orleans, maybe she was praying in Latin?

Scarlett realized something at that moment, she may not be the only person going through such turmoil in her life. She looked around at all the gravestones, these were markers of a lose, someone's loss and sadness. Suddenly, the overwhelming realization of sadness and a lack of breakfast caused Scarlett's knees to buckle, the dizziness lasted a moment, and then as a strong wind ripped through the headstones, she regained herself, and got up slowly and started her way to the carriage.

Jonah saw the pale, thin woman, his mistress coming toward the carriage, and held the door open, and noticed the shaking in her leather gloved hand, her eyes were red rimmed and her gait was unsteady.

"Are you feeling well, Miz Butler?"

She could only nod, as she got out of the chilly air, and into the carriage.

"You want to go back to the town square, or back home?"

"The square, please, Jonah."

Scarlett's head started to pound in the carriage, and the tension, and her hunger started to get the better of her. Anger surged in her chest, and one of her spells came back, this time, the urge to bolt and run crept into her mind, but she squirmed in the carriage, and tried to control it. Her head tingled and she closed her eyes, feeling the numbness overtake her body.

Mrs. Leinder knew Scarlett well, and she was sure to be offered coffee and cake at the dress shop. She had been her best customer even before she had married Rhett. Jonah pulled up at the edge of the square and motioned for Prissy to get in the carriage, Scarlett wasn't sure she would be able to walk to the dressmaker's in her current condition.

Prissy bounded in the the carriage, "It's bad cold out there Miz Scarlett, we can't just go home?"

"No."

Prissy pulled her woolen shawl and cap around her head and shoulders, "We warm weather people, we can't take all this winter cold."

Scarlett scold at her, and closed her eyes, it was best to ignore all her protesting.

Scarlett walked in quietly in the shop as the door bell rang, Mrs. Leinder seemed to float up to her and grabbed her hand, paying her well wishes and condolences. Scarlett figured she had heard all the gossip about her the past few weeks, but sure as the red faced gray haired lady was smiling in her face, she showed Scarlett to the couch and offered her coffee and had thick cinnamon biscuits with butter ready on her tiny white and pink china plates.

Scarlett took the biggest biscuit and lathered it with butter, but the first bite was like salt. Scarlett knew she needed to eat or she would soon faint, so she struggled to get the food down, washing it down with mouthfuls of coffee.

"Mrs. Butler, I have the four dresses you ordered, do you plan on trying on today?"

Scarlett cleared her throat and nodded, "Yes, I need to make sure they fit, even though I know I wont be able to wear them until next year, you can make alterations if needed?"

"Of course, and maybe even update them some, unless you want to dye them?"

"No, I have enough clothes dyed already. Besides, I am going to visit my family for a rest. I wont be needing much in the line of dresses for the next few months."

The cinnamon roll had started to boost Scarlett's blood sugar and she was feeling sturdier in her legs and head, and she stood to try on the dresses. She chose the velvet and silk gown first, she had hoped to wear it on Christmas day, the silk was a pale rose, and the velvet was a wine pulled over a bustle adorned with a striped mauve bow.

As she came out the dressing room and stood in front of the mirror, the dress hung on her hips, and the arms were loose barely covering her bodice, she felt like a child in her mother's clothes. SHe huffed in frustration and Mrs. Leinder tried to soothe her, suggesting some alterations. Scarlett decided to take the dress off, and wait until next year to alter it. Scarlett threw the dress on the couch in frustration and headed to the counter to pay Mrs. Leinder and leave. Prissy came inside to help carry out the dresses.

"Miz Scarlett, you got only one dress?'

"No, I have four, they are coming out. Don't touch the red one, they are going to pack them up. SHe'll give them to you on the hangers."

Mrs. Leinder motioned for Scarlett to come see her new choices in black buttons, and Scarlett left Prissy alone.

The bell rang, and another lady in black came in the store and looked around, she noticed Prissy standing by the counter and asked, "Miss, do you work here?"

Prissy giggled, "No indeed, I'm with Mrs. Scarlett."

The woman proceeded to walk around the store and examined the catalogs on the table, upon seeing the red dress on the couch, she held it out and looked at the fine tucks around the neckline.

Mrs. Leinder walked out with Scarlett following with a bag full on black buttons.

"I do need those, I'll let Mammy sew them on my winter dresses when I get home."

Mrs. Leinder noticed the customer with Scarlett's dress and inquired:

"May I help you?"

"Yes, could you dye this black, but take off all this fluff, and bows, I need a dress, not a birthday present."

"Excuse me?" Mrs. Leinder inquired, "This is my customer's gown, we need to pack it."

Scarlett turned to see the woman from the cemetery, dressed in black, and now her small round dark eyes stared at the three women at the counter.

"I'm sorry, I just have simpler tastes, I do like the form of the dress."

Mrs. Leinder took the dress and handed it to her apprentice for packing, and showed the woman to the catalog, "I can show you the pattern."

Prissy left with the dresses and sat in the carriage, as Scarlett settled up the bill with Mrs. Leinder. The woman approached Scarlett with a smile, and her hand extended.

"Madame, I'm sorry about the misunderstanding," she took Scarlett's hand and her eyes were warm, and dark brown. Her voice was like a combination of southern and a latin dialect.

"No, please, I ordered that dress a few months ago, before-" Scarlett's mind wandered, remembering the day she ordered that dress and then picking up candy for Bonnie, after at Kennedy's when she checked on the books.

"I see, you have a lost, too?" Her eyes were red rimmed and moist.

Scarlett nodded, as her throat was tight.

"Maria Pilar Lange," she rattled off her name, "Call me Pilar, ok?"

Scarlett smiled and pointed to her chest, "Scarlett Butler."

"Ok, Scarlett Butler, I always say buying yourself a little something will lift your spirits."

Scarlett shook her head, "No, I'm not shopping today, just paying my bill."

"I see we have something in common, wearing the mourning cloth, who have you lost?"

Lost? Scarlett wanted to say, I lost everything.

But, she only said, "My daughter and my sister in law."

Pilar's eyes cast down, "I lost my daughter, too. She was only a few months old, a terrible fever overtook her."

Scarlett looked at this woman, who was a clear ten years older than her, did she just say she lost an infant? Scarlett muttered condolences, and add, "My daughter died in the spring, soon after her fifth birthday, it was a horse riding accident, and my sister in law two weeks ago, childbirth."

Pilar smiled, "Her birthday was in the spring, when?"

Scarlett felt at ease for the first time talking about Bonnie, "March, the 9th."

Pilar's eyes were full and a few tears escaped, "My Johanna would have been six months this week, she was in May."

Scarlett looked at this woman, and didn't remember seeing her around Atlanta, so she asked, "Are you from Atlanta?"

"No, New Orleans, actually Cuba, but my husband and I moved to Atlanta this summer."

"New Orleans," Scarlett's voice was whispy.

"You know New Orleans?"

"Yes, I went on my honeymoon there, lovely place."

"I knew something about you was special, anybody loves New Orleans is a friend of mine."

Nobody had ever called Scarlett, a friend, especially another woman, but this woman was different, she was bold and forthright, not like those smiling back stabbers. Pilar was a woman after her own heart.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The blustery winter weather continued for the next few days, even though the sky was clear, blue and sunny, the chilly winds kept the city's inhabitants in woolen scarves and hats. Scarlett had got through the last four days without her brandy at night, but on the fifth night she needed it, bad.

She hadn't left the house, as she oversaw the closing up of the second floor and packed her trunks for Tara. Scarlett had rushed to pack her most needed items, hoping to be able to rest and confide in Mammy. She didn't plan on attending parties or visiting.

Her nerves were so bad without her brandy, she had dropped her brush midway, and let out a loud, "God damnit!" that caused Prissy, Pork and Jonah rushing to her room, so sure their mistress had finally cracked.

Looking at the doorway, Scarlett pulled her wrapper around her neck and spat, "Get the Hell outta here, you idiots!"

The door had quietly closed, and Scarlett had berated herself for being so ugly. She knew the warm rush of a few glasses of brandy in the quiet dark of her room would settle her nerves. That evening, it was her usual two glasses, but four glasses of the honey golden liquid that help her pass out across her bed in her wrapper.

The sun was just peeking through the drawn windows, when Scarlett opened her eyes, and her head pounded, as she walked with the support of her furniture to the basin, and threw up. She retched and retched, not the usual way it came up without help, but it was an effort and burned her throat and nose.

Somehow, she found her way to the bed and fell back to sleep, the smell of brandy and vomit assaulted her senses, but she couldn't care less.

It seemed seconds, but it had been hours when the door opened and Prissy came in with the tray of breakfast, setting it down, it was a meager meal of toast and butter, a baked apple and a pot of coffee.

Scarlett slowly sat up in the bed, and her stomach lurched, but there was nothing to come up, so she turned her head.

"Don't open the drapes, my head hurts."

Prissy nodded and left the room as fast as she could. After yesterday, she wasn't going to argue with her foul mouthed mistress, even though it was after eleven o'clock.

Scarlett set to work pouring her coffee, when she noticed a rectangle card in a pale beige with looping black handwriting. Picking it up, she read the name Mr. and Mrs. Carson Lange. Her pounding head registered the last name, and she remembered the dress shop, of course.

"Pilar" she whispered, and pulled the seal open.

It read: "Dear Mrs. Butler, I would like to request a visit with you sometime in the next few days. SIncerely, Pilar Lange"

Scarlett smiled, this was a welcome distraction, and she figured with three more days before she leaves for Tara, it would be a nice afternoon to invite Pilar for tea the next day.

Prissy returned to collect an empty tray, and smiled seeing the toast gone,and the apple dug into until she saw the wash bowl. She glanced over at Scarlett in the bed, and shook her head, as her mistress had fallen back to sleep.

It was late afternoon, when Scarlett rang for Prissy.

Scarlett sat on her chair near the window, writing a letter on her crisp white stationery, with the gold "B" embossed. She looked up at Prissy as the door open, "Here, bring this to the Lange residence, Jonah should know where it is."

Prissy took the note, and turned to go, but Scarlett called out, "Wait right there, Also, I need Cookie to go out to the market and pick up a few things for tomorrow, I'm having a visitor for tea."

Prissy looked shocked, "It's late, Miz Scarlett, the market almost closed, and-"

"Then, she will have to hurry!" Scarlett got up, and went to her closet, ignoring Prissy's protests.

Prissy came walking into her closet, "Miz Scarlett, I saw you were sick last night, do I have to call Dr. Meade?"

"No!" Scarlett's face brightened red, "I-I wasn't sick. It was something I ate, I'm fine now."

Prissy smiled bigger, "Is Mister Rhett coming home soon?"

Scarlett looked at this sly girl, and her palm itched to slap her, "No,,,,,I don't know. And I'm not having a baby, so get that out of your head."

Prissy's smiled shrunk, "Alright, I was just saying, you sick-"

"You can leave, now. I want to be alone to find something to wear."

"Will you be wanting dinner?"

"Of course! Now go!" Scarlett all but slammed the closet door in her face.

Scarlett pressed her back against the door, and looked at the colorful array of clothes, her new dresses, and the shock of black spread throughout the melee of blues, reds and greens. "Will I ever get out of mourning?" she thought.

How she wished to put on a new dress, Pilar seemed to like fine things, and she would love to make her jealous of her fine clothing. But Pilar had a lost, too, so the playing field was even, they would both be in black, and Pilar had strength and vigor, maybe Scarlett didn't need to compete with Pilar.

Scarlett put her hand on the first black flash of fabric and pulled, who cares which dress she wore, they were all the same color-Black. Most of her dresses were packed for Tara, and the one she pulled was the one she wore, two weeks ago at Melly's house, when they had said their goodbyes, and Rhett had left her crying in the doorway.

She walked out of her closet, and draped the dress over her bench and sat on her bed and traced the cold sheets, Rhett.

"Damn Prissy for saying his name."

The fire started to crackle in the grate, and it almost sounded like his snort. Scarlett could smell the sweet, pungent cigar scent around her, as though he had taken her in his arms. Her body tingled for his touch, and tears built up in her eyes that still throbbed from her hangover. She rubbed her temples, and wished he was here in front of her to put his arm around her, and say, "I'm here."

But he wasn't, and she was alone.

The blush pink sunset filled her bedroom with a soft light, and her surrounds blurred as the tears started to fall, and there was only one word that escaped her lips, "Rhett."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next afternoon, Scarlett sat in her parlor with a tray of apple cakes, gingerbread and sugar cookies, with a pot of tea, and a pot of coffee. Her china was set out for two, and it looked very pleasant, it had been too long since anybody had come to her parlor. The chilly air blew threw the opened window, which was set to catch just enough air, as the day had started to warm up.

The bell rang, and it caused Scarlett to jump, not expecting her guest to be so punctual, just as the clock chimed three o'clock.

Pork ushered the tiny woman into the parlor, where he brutalized her name, "Pee-Lore Lang."

Scarlett stood and held out her hand, "So, good of you to come, I was glad to receive your letter, Pilar."

Pilar smiled back, and took her hand, "I was so glad to meet such a nice person in this city."

Scarlett only imagined what Rhett would have made of this remark, but as the afternoon went on, she realized to Pilar, she was the nicest person in Atlanta.

Pilar smiled as she placed her coffee cup down, "I must confess, I did some asking about you to Mrs. Leinder."

"Oh?" Scarlett could only imagine.

"Yes, she told me about your husband's activities during the war, and I must say, we have much in common. My husband also made a good profit from the war, but in New Orleans."

Scarlett shook her head, "I couldn't imagine how you all dealt with the Yankees being in that city for so many years, I hated them."

Pilar smiled, "We didn't hate them as long as we made money from them."

Scarlett's eyes gleamed, "Oh, how did you do that?"

"Well, Benjamin Butler, I'm sure he's not a relative?"

"Indeed NO!" Pouted Scarlett.

Pilar laughed, "Well, the Jankees," as Pilar pronounced the name with a slight Spanish accent, "They love to drink, rum, brandy, anything that can dilute their tiny brains. Well, my family had the rum, and Mr. Lange and the means to bring it to Butler and his men, so we were a match made in heaven."

Scarlett laughed heartily, Pilar was quite shrewd, and she was not afraid to show it. Scarlett confessed her profits from the Yankees in her lumber business, that she regretted she didn't still own.

Scarlett changed the subject as she felt the urgency in her chest of a spell as she thought about her money, "So, how did Mr. Lange and you go into business, with your family's rum business?"

Pilar had lived a fascinating, and regretful life before she came to Atlanta.

"My family had lived in New Orleans for decades, since we left Saint Dominguez, and settled in the City of Lafayette, have you been there?"

Scarlett couldn't remember such a name, "We stayed in the Voo Carry," Scarlett misprounonced, it brutally.

Pilar smiled, "Oh you stayed in the creole side."

Scarlett looked at her quizzically, "Oh, you aren't creole? I thought for sure you were Spanish, like the Galvez people we met."

Pilar smiled, "Not that kind of Spanish, my family didn't have that kind of money, we lived among the Americans. But, I suspect you may have some creole blood yourself, no?"

"Yes, my mother was a Robillard from Savannah, but they were considered creoles, her mother escaped from Sante Dominguez, but her father was old French aristocrats who fought with Napoleon."

Pilar smiled, "I can see that in your eyes, and your hair is as black as mine, we are cousins without blood."

Scarlett beamed, it felt good to be excepted, "Yes, I guess we are. My father was Irish, and he was of a poorer family, but like you he made his fortune."

"Irish?"Pilar looked puzzled "You don't seem Irish?"

Scarlett huffed, "Wait until you see my temper."

Pilar gleamed, "Is that so? Well, I hope I never do, my temper is probably worst."

The two women laughed, and Scarlett noticed Pilar eyes kept lingering on her brooch, which caused Scarlett to touch it absentmindly.

Pilar noticed everything, and she said, "I'm sorry, if I stare, but that is most fascinating, pointing to Scarelett's brooch."

"Oh, I ordered it from England, it's garnets and the octagon has a mask face inside."

Pilar put her hand up, animated, "Oh, no. I don't want it, I was wondering who that evil old man's face that was, I don't like things so ornate."

Scarlett turned bright red, and the fire of anger shot up in her, and she wouldn't answer.

Pilar sensed her anger, and continued, "I didn't mean anything, but you see mine, is more like me, it is a cameo of Virgin Mary and Jesus on coral. I like things simple that remind me of home."

Scarlett still fumed, trying to gather what to say next, when Pilar reached out her hand and touched her, "We cannot all be the same, everybody's different. I suspect you being such a beautiful and bright woman, it's hard for you to find anything that can compare to you. Although, what I heard about your husband, I thought it may be a picture of him."

Scarlett listened to her words, and they made so much sense, this is why she was so different from all these people in Atlanta, she was different, and in Pilar's world it was perfectly fine to be different. Scarlett loosened up and laughed, "Come to think of it, he did look like that when he got mad."

Pilar smiled, "WHere is this monster of a husband?"

"He's with family in Charleston, they had a small crisis. He'll return when his mother's feeling better."

Pilar nodded.

Scarlett asked, feeling the woman wanted to talk, "What have you heard?"

Pilar leaned in, watching for servants, "It was in the market, It was a rather cruel looking young woman in black was talking with a bunch of those other women with the white hair."

Scarlett smiled to herself, no doubt India Wilkes, with those old biddies, "I know exactly who you are talking about, go on."

"Well, after I met you in the dress shop, I listened when I heard the names Scarlett and Butler being lashed out of her gritted, hateful teeth. You know she reminds me of my grey hound," Pilar giggled, but went on,"She was saying that Mr. Butler had left and refused anything to do with you, he was going to give up, so you can have the man you really want, but it would be over her dead body before her brother would take up with you."

Scarlett's ears rang, and she shot up from her seat, "OH! that cow, nobody would want her, it she paid them!"

Scarlett sat back down as a spell came over her, and grabbed her mouth, she couldn't believe what she had just said.

Pilar watched her, with a gapping mouth, "I-I didn't say that to upset you, you asked!"

Scarlett held her hand up, "No, its not you, India Wilkes, the grey hound, has hated me every since I married her fiancee."

Pilar's eyes grew wide,"Mr. Butler?"

"No, my first husband."

Pilar's head swam, this demure, pretty woman had a past, that she would have never guessed from her looks and breeding.

Pilar took her hand again, her eyes were serious and brown, almost like Melanie's, "Those women are hateful, they don't even acknowledge me. I'm sure you have heard things about me."

Scarlett was breathing deep, wishing the numbness in her head went away, and shook her head, "No, because they don't talk to me either."

Pilar smiled, her eyes crinkling at the sides, "I see, well I'll tell you why they hate me, ok?"

Scarlett heard the clock chime five o'clock, and smiled, "Pilar, would you care to stay for dinner?"

Pilar smiled, "Being I will go home to an empty house, too. I would love to stay."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 **Thanks for the Reviews! In this chapter we get a glimpse into Pilar's family**

 **Rum was actually manufactuered in CUba during the civil war on the many sugar cane plantations, and many blockade runners hid out in Cuba and used it as a "black market" center of exchanging goods to bring to the states and Europe. In the Carollton uptown of new orleans, the yankess hung out, opened bars and bought rum off the blockade runners, there was actually a mandate that only liquor sold in Benjamin Butler's brother saloon was legal in New Orleans, so I thought it would be a great business for Pilar's family.**

 **The Uptown area of New Orleans had lots of AMerican, Irish, Germans, etc that the French and SPanish creoles didnt accept, many didnt even venture into each others neighborhoods, and Canal street was the border.**

Prissy broke into the kitchen, and Cookie looked up with a "what now?" face.

"Miz Scarlett having that lady stay for dinner, she say make another place."

Cookie only nodded, glad it wasn't another tirade from their moody mistress.

Pork served the simple fare, Cookie had been cooking because of Scarlett's lack of appetite. The baked sweet potatoes and sliced ham seemed to be agreeable with her company.

"I'd like to apologize for the simple dinner, but I'm planning to leave in a few days to visit my family at our plantation."

Pilar smiled, "It is quite alright, I am finding the food simpler than New Orleans, but it is palpable."

"So, you are alone in your home as well?" Scarlett asked cutting into her ham steak

"Only for another week, my husband Carson, has older children from his first marriage that still live in Texas."

"Texas?"

"Yes, Carson's father came to America from Germany, they originally had quite a long and confusing name, but after the Mexican War, he shortened it to Lange and settled in Texas."

"So, you met Mr. Lange in Texas?"

"No, I've never been there. My father lived in Lafayette city on the other side of New Orleans, my maiden name is de la Aguila. We had a small house near the River, but my father always kept in touch with his family in Cuba. We came from a very prosperous family, my great grandfather had escaped Saint Domingue, like your grandmother, and settled in Cuba, before moving his family to New Orleans, but the Creoles of the Vieux Carre only kept company with fellow Creoles who had elite ancestry in New Orleans. "

"Yes, people are very critical of new money." Scarlett snapped, remembering how they shunned Rhett and herself.

"Well, my mother wasn't exactly excepted into their circles, she was a free person of color, but you know when people fall in love, they fall in love."

Pilar had said it so casually, it took Scarlett a minute to process it, and then she looked at her. Yes, her skin tone, so much different from hers, and her round soft eyes, Pilar had the same soft tones of Mammy, it must have been her African blood. Scarlett remembered seeing darker women on men's arms in New Orleans, and Rhett had used the term quadroon, but Scarlett never gave any deep thought to the term, everything in New Orleans had different names.

Pilar sensed her friend's pause and asked, "You have heard of a free person of color, yes? If you are familiar with New Orleans, you may have met some?"

Scarlett asked, "When you say "free", did you mean your mother was a slave?"

Pilar looked at her again, she wasn't as worldly as she thought.

"No, she was never a slave, she was born into a legal union between a placage, and her suitor."

"You mean like a mistress?"

"Of sorts, but my mother was adopted by her father's childless sister, after her mother's death. She was raised in the white society, but never quite accepted. But my father, he was raised without all of those Creole ideals growing up around Americans in the Lafayette City. WHen he saw her and fell in love, he had no idea she was a quadroon, you know a fourth black. She looked a lot like me."

Scarlett's mind locked into the understanding, that's what it was a fourth of her blood, and she thought it was her price. Scarlett smiled to herself, she really did need to pay attention more.

Scarlett was smiling, and Pilar was waiting for her to speak.

"So, Pilar, how did you meet your husband?"

"Well that interesting, we meet when he went into business with my father during the blockade to bring in rum from Cuba, at the time I was a novice."

Scarlett dropped her fork and stared at Pilar, a nun.

Pilar laughed, "Yes, hard to believe it, but I wasn't a very good novice."

Scarlett laughed, "This story is getting better by the minute."

"Not really, it's quite boring, ten years ago, I met Carson, and he had just buried his wife who had been married to for twenty-five years, and his first two sons in the war. He was a

an angry drunkard of a man with his youngest son and daughter living with his mother in Texas, and he was running the blockade, almost on a suicide mission."

Scarlett thought to herself, "Same as Rhett."

Pilar continued between bites, "Well, he came to make plans to get some rum in town for the Jankees that were running saloon in Carollton, and I had been at the house visiting, and he saw me. Carson told me later that my smile had soothed his angry soul. And he came to dinner every night that I was visiting, just to see me, and as a novice, I wanted to help him with his grief, and we fell in love."

"My sister joined a convent, was it very hard to leave?"

Pilar threw her head back laughing, "No, no, my dear. The Mother SUperior practically packed my bags."

SCarlett couldn't help but giggle, Pilar was so honest when she spoke, so much like her.

Scarlett said bitterly, "Maybe my sister could do the same, if the right man came along."

Pilar got serious, "No, I didn't leave because I lusted after Carson. In my heart, I felt that Carson needed me, and that would be my vocation as a wife and mother to this family in trouble."

Scarlett corrected her, "I didn't mean it that way. I just don't understand how my sister could just hide in a convent because her beaux died in the war."

"Every novice has their reasons for being there. I was there because it was drilled into me at an early age that we should be humble and serve God. I went there because I never thought anybody would love me like Carson does, but that was the wrong reasons. I was so unhappy, the quiet, monotony drove me crazy, and I would just lash out at all those girls. Most of them were so self righteous, you think they were all competing for Sainthood."

Scarlett nodded her head, "In my case, all the girls were aspiring to catch a husband, and I thought it was such a bunch of nonsense. Rhett just loved me, for myself."

As she said it, her throat tightened, and tears burned her eyes, but she shook them off.

Pilar's eyes softened, "Oh, you miss him. Don't let those women at the market get to you."

Scarlett just shook her head and wiped her eyes, "I really don't care about them, I'm used to it. Eventually, I just stopped caring about the gossip."

Scarlett called for Pork to clear the table, and the two retired to the library.

Pilar smiled, and said, "You told me you had another husband, tell me about this female war you have created here."

Scarlett bit her lip, and sighed, "I've had three husbands."

Pilar's eyes grew huge, "Three? Well of course, someone as pretty as you would gather men's attention."

Scarlett blushed at her flattery, but secretly feared her history would turn her friend against her, so she asked, "Well, you never did say why the women in Atlanta dislike you?"

Pilar shook her head,"They don't feel I'm equal. I am a daughter of a free person of color, therefore I am no better than their cook or housemaid."

Scarlett looked at her, and anger flared, "How do they know, they telegraphed New Orleans for your credentials?"

"No, the Picards know my family."

Scarlett's brow furrowed, "Oh, that old buffalo Mrs. Merriweather, really?"

Pilar nodded, "Her son in law, saw my husband, and informed his wife and her sewing circles, that I possess an eighth of African blood."

"Well, that is just terrible, but it doesn't surprise me."

Pilar wanted to change the subject, "So, tell me about your three husbands, I have only had the luck of catching one, and it was when I was well passed twenty five."

Scarlett told her about the unremarkable marriage to Charles that in her mind didn't even count because he left with his regimine directly after their wedding dinner, and died of measles a month later. Scarlett didn't know how to approach Frank, but she told it was delicately as she could.

"You see I came into town to borrow the money, and Frank Kennedy was so tired of waiting for my sister, he immediately proposed, and he wouldn't let me leave, so I was forced into my second marriage."

"Was he happy with you? You gave him any sons?" Pilar asked.

"I guess he was happy, we created a thriving business and he was very prosperous with my support before he died in a shooting accident, but we never had children."

"A young woman like you? I can't believe you haven't had more children."

Scarlett blushed, "With Frank, it wasn't me. He had health problems, so we were close, but not close enough to have children."

Pilar gasped, "WHat? You were married twice, and you never had relations until-"

"Yes, Rhett and I had Bonnie. And then it was my foolish vanity, I didn't want more children."

"Well, how does the "greyhound's" brother figure into this history?"

"I have been in love with him since I was fourteen years old, and I have just recently realized how foolish I've been."

Pilar sighed, "You have been through quite an ordeal, haven't you?"

Before Scarlett could answer the clock chimed eight o'clock, and Pilar stood up to leave.

"Well, if you would call for my driver to come around, I'm going to get along home. This has been quite an evening. Maybe when you return, we could have tea by my house."

Scarlett smiled, "Yes, I should be home after the New Year. I'll write you."

Pilar gathered her hands and kissed her cheek on both sides, "I will look forward to hearing from you, my friend."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 **I know Scarlett wanted to go to Tara, but I needed to develop her friendship with Pilar a bit more, and I thought this would be a typical stunt that Suellen would pull. Who knows who else may show up for the Holiday season?**

The next morning Scarlett was up and dressed before ten o'clock, it was a busy day. She needed to go to the store and the mills to settle everything before her extended holiday at Tara. SHe pulled on her leather gloves and stood in the doorway, waiting for Jonah to bring the carriage around to the front of the house, when the creaking of carriage wheels startled her.

It wasn't the fine sleek carriage she rode in, but a creaky trap with Hugh Elsing sitting on the seat, with a large shawled woman sitting in the back on top of some lumber.

"Miss Scarlett," Hugh waved as he took off his hat, "I saw her at the train station, so I told her that I'd drop her off here."

"Mammy?" Scarlett called out as the woman hustled off the wagon and walked up the steps carrying her familiar red and black carpet bag Ms. Ellen had given her years ago.

"Miss Scarlett, let's get inside, I got news from Miss Suellen," Mammy's eyes were big and stern.

Scarlett obeyed, and waved Hugh a "thank you" and shut the door.

"What in God's name are you doing here? I'm going to Tara tomorrow!"

"No you isn't, I'm here because Miss Suellen don't want you there for the holidays."

"She-She cannot ban me from Tara, it's my home, too."

"Well, she say, she don't want you there ruining her Christmas with the children. I came in town to be with you, and we can go to Tara after the New Year's."

"What? SO, you are here to keep me away from Suellen's piddly Christmas parties!"

"Miz Scarlett, I'm here to care for my lamb. You need caring for now, you in here all alone."

"How do you know that Mammy?"

Mammy looked at Scarlett and put her large black hands on Scarlett's, "We all know about Mista Rhett."

Scarlett threw her hands up, "Who is "we all"? Suellen? You?"

"Everybody knows that man left on a train with his suitcase an hour after Miss Melanie died."

"Oh!" Scarlett was dumbfounded, "Is that so?"

"Yes, he went down to that train station, and bought a ticket to CHarleston. They saw him, and they family in CLayton County heard about it, and they all know. Miss Suellen don't want any upset and trouble. Her three girls are so young, and the baby is just starting to walk, she wants them to just have a quiet Christmas, no major troubles."

"Is that what they think, I'm major troubles?"

Mammy's eyes was starting to get wet, "Miz Scarlett, you seen some troubles, but I'm here now, so you going to be fine. Mammy takes care of her lamb."

Jonah interrupted them by knocking on the door. Scarlett directed Mammy to get settled, and left on her errands. As the carriage rocking down the street, the clouds were building in the col sky preparing for a storm, but she got to the Mills. The door was locked, and the men were leaving on deliveries, and Scarlett called to one of them, "Has Mr. WIlkes been in to work?"

A wiry red head boy nodded, "Yes, ma'am he was here this morning, but he left to go home for dinner with his boy, he'll be back in an hour or so."

"Can I get inside, I want to check the books."

The boy shrugged, "Ma'am, Mr. WIlkes, he got the key."

Scarlett would have waited the hour, if she was leaving tomorrow, but she wasn't, so she went to the store. The store was busy for a weekday afternoon, people seemed to be getting supplies, for the storm that was brewing overhead, and the coldness that it had brought with it. Scarlett was pleased with the line of people waiting to pay their bills, none of them were the Old Guard, and she was relieved the gossippers who spread dirty tales about her was not in her store.

She headed for the back of the store, and went into the office followed by the manager.

"I want to see the inventory and the orders for the Holiday items. We need to make sure there is candles, ribbons, velvet by the yard and the children's items. I want them shipped within the next week, I would like them out as early as possible."

The manager asked, "When December 15th?"

Scarlett's eyes flashed, "No, the 1st!"

The manager nodded and left her alone with the ledger.

The storm had started whipping the autumn leaves, and the rain against the store's windows, when she emerged from the office. Uncle Peter had walked in the front door with Beau, and a list.

"Aunt Scarlett, I missed you!" Beau ran up to her, and put his arms around her waist, Scarlett bent down resting her cheek on the boy's head.

"Beau, how wonderful to see you. Are you back at school?"

"Father says I have to go back on Monday, but I miss my friends."

Uncle Peter stood there puffed up handing the list over to the clerk.

Scarlett looked up at him and smiled, "Uncle Peter, you are looking well."

"Thank you, Miz Scarlett, just getting some things for Miz Pitty."

Scarlett looked over at the clerk, "Put some extra extra lavender soaps, and some peppermint sticks for Beau, what color do you like, darling?"

"Do you have blue?"

Scarlett's throat clenched, "Of course we have blue, and red, and pink."

Beau beamed, "I like blue the best!"

Scarlett nodded, and bid them farewell, her throat was starting to clench again, and her eyes blurred, her Bonnie Blue, that's why she had ordered them.

As she waited on the porch for the carriage, and figure in black approached her, and she heard his voice, "Scarlett, how good to see you out."

She met the gray eyes and smiled, "Ashley, how are you?"

He smirked, and looked down, "Better. I went to work today."

"Today? You mean you haven't-"

"No, my dear, I've been to work for almost a week now, but I'm looking at my life, one day at a time. My biggest achievement today was getting out of bed, and going to work. I'm headed back to the mill now."

"I was just there, I wanted to check the books."

"Do you want to ride over with Beau and me?"

"No, I'll come back tomorrow. Mammy just came in town, and I want to get out of this rain."

"I see," Ashley said dryly.

The carriage pulled up, and he opened the door for her, Scarlett looked through the window, "I'll be out at the mill early tomorrow morning, what time you get there?"

"Seven," he answered staring at her bright eyes.

"See you, at seven thirty, then, good day, Ashley."

As the carriage pulled off into the muddy road, Scarlett felt hollow and empty. Where was the feeling of fluttering hearts and clammy palms, now. SHe felt as though she was talking to her brother, not the love of her life.

Her spell returned as they neared the house, her head started to tingle, and her chest tightened, she worried she would pass out, but as she opened the heavy door and saw the warm glow of the fire in the library her nerves settled.

Mammu was at her side gathering her damp shawl and umbrella, and directing her to the palor to remove her boots.

"Mammy, I'm perfectly fine."

"I can see you got all wet out there, you don't needing to get sick."

"I'm not."

Scarlett let Mammy pamper her, removing her boots and settling her in the leather chair near the fire as she went through her mail, and Prissy brought in a dinner tray of sliced cheeses, toast, a tall glass of lemonade and an apple cooked in thick caramel sauce.

"Mammy, what is Cookie making for supper?"

"It smells like chicken soup, but I don't rightly know."

"Well, If I'm not leaving, we will have to go to market tomorrow. You can take the ride into town, we are leaving early, at seven."

"Where you going so early? You going to get up?"

"Yes, I want to get to the mills early."

Mammy stared at her and clicked her tongue.

"What is THAT supposed to mean?"

"You know and I know why you going there?"

"Please, how you do run on, Mammy. Seven in the morning?"

"WHatever you can do at midnight, you can do at seven-"

"I need to check the books, and Ashley has Beau with him until he goes back to school on Monday. I missed him today, because they went home for dinner."

"Well, Is taking the ride out to the Mill, too."

"Mammy-"

"No, I is goin' and you can't tell me NO. You trying to make more troubles?"

" Fine, but you'll just have to sit in the carriage."

"What if I want to see Mister Beau?"

"Oh, you are impossible!"

Mammy smiled and walked out the library leaving Scarlett alone with her tray.

The storm continued through the afternoon, and it was close to dinner when Scarlett woke up with a start, finding herself in the library, she had fallen asleep in the chair, but in her dream the mist had returned, and this time there was a swamp, she felt the cold wet swamp closing around her ankles, and the mist built around her. The trees were thick, and she was running, running faster looking for something in the mist, but she never found it. The tingling in her body jolted her out of sleep, she had tried to scream, but her throat had clenched and she couldn't.

The shadows in the library played tricks, and her mind tried to make out figures, but they were long lopsided things, similar to the trees in her dreams. Scarlett was frightened and rose from the chair, feeling her way to the door opened it to the hallways and the mountainous stairs leading to her bedroom.

The house was quiet, so quiet, it made her shiver. Scarlett stood in the hallway and thought how nice it would be to see Bonnie and a toddling two year old coming down the stairs hand in hand, grabbing her at the waist and tugging at her skirts for a hug. Scarlett hadn't realized she missed the child's hugs until Beau had ran into her arms, and his boyish smell, soft hair, and small arms around her made her remember.

Scarlett shook her head, as if emptying her head of the wish. Such nonsense only brought on sadness, and she didn't have time for tears. She called for Prissy to unpack her trunks.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The bitterness of the damp cold streets bore through Scarlett's boots the next morning as Ashley helped her and Mammy down from the carriage and across the muddy path to the Mils office. Beau was perched at the small desk with a charcoal pencil doodling on a sketch pad.

His face brightened as his pretty Aunt Scarlett entered the office followed by Mammy.

"Good Morning!" Beau piped up running up for a hug. His soft brown eyes smiled up at Scarlett, as if Melanie was sending her a message from heaven.

Mammy took the small boy in her arms and cooed soft words in the boy's ear, that made him nod.

Ashley beamed at Beau exuberant smiles and behavior, but directed him to get back to his sketching, and he obediently returned to the desk followed by Mammy.

Scarlett sat at the larger desk, where the ledger was already opened for her to inspect. As usual there were uneven rows, and numbers that didn't add up to the invoices, and Ashley was relieved as her brows knitted together and one sigh after another heaved in her chest, that Hugh knocked on the door calling Ashley to meet with a new client.

It was nearly an hour when Scarlett had the books looking decent and together that she thanked her sister that she had not gone to Tara. Ashley lacked the discipline and perfectionism needed to keep the books straight, but she was happy when Ashley brought the new client in to meet Scarlett.

He was an older man, in his fifties, but well dressed and well spoken.

"Scarlett, this is Mr. Davies. He has come to inquire for some of our lumber for his building project."

Scarlett shook the man's hand and gleamed a smile, "Nice to make your acquaintance Mr. Davies. And what kind of project have you in mind that Kennedy and WIlkes lumber was your first stop?"

The man blushed, and smiled, "Well ma'am, I'm acquiring some land in rural area, and I'm planning to build a farmhouse, barn and stables. I owned a factory in North Carolina, but my son has taken over the running of it, so this is a dream I have had for a long time, to raise horses."

Scarlett sighed and smiled at a beaming Ashley, he would think a "dream" would be a wonderful idea.

"Well, I am happy we may help you with your, dream, sir."

Ashley followed Scarlett outside to the carriage with Beau and Mammy in tow, leaving Mr. Davies with his dream and a glass of water at the desk.

Once outside, Scarlett was serious with AShley, "This may be a very profitable venture with Mr. Davies. See if you can get his entire order up front, and give him a small discount, so he thinks he's getting it cheaper."

Ashley smiled.

"Listen to me!" Scarlett hissed, "The books are a mess, Beau could do a better job if I showed him."

Ashley went pale, as though she had slapped his face, "Scarlett? I have tried-"

"I don't need you to "try", I need you to "do" better."

Ashley's soft eyes drooped, and he nodded.

Scarlett's head started to tingle again, and her heart beat fast in her chest. Mammy saw her sway out of the corner of her eye, and hurried over to steady her.

"Scarlett?" Ashley asked concerned holding her other arm, "Are you feeling well?"

Scarlett just shook her head negative as her arms and legs turned cold, and the need to run unwillingly stayed in her mind, but her legs would not will it.

Mammy barked for Jonah, who scooped Scarlett up and sat her in the carriage, as Mammy slid in next to her patting her hand.

Ashley looked inside the window, "I'm sorry that I upset you, I hope you feel better soon. Beau and I will call on you in a few days."

Mammy watched Scarlett rub her temples and fidget with the fringe on her sleeve as the carriage made its way back to town. Scarlett's spell went away, and then a surge of tinglling renewed in her stomach and her limbs became cold again as she began to shake.

"Chile, what's wrong with you?"

Scarlett's throat was dry and she could barely speak.

"Miz Scarlett, you need to go see ?"

"No," Scarlett said, as if a child was asked to go, "I'm just tired, and upset."

"Well, I'm gonna put you up in bed, and you are going to have some real food, none of that coffee and toast for breakfast."

Scarlett was so tired and her spell was lasting longer now, so she gave Mammy no protests, which made the old woman worry even more.

As the carriage turned near the square, Scarlett remembered the market, and called out to Jonah, "Stop at the market."

"What you think you doin'?"

"Mammy, we need to go to the market, I don't have hardly anything in the house to eat."

"You not gonna fall out again?"

"I'll be fine."

At the market, Mammy followed behind her with the basket stocking up on the squash, beans and potatoes at the market. It wasn't very crowded as the chill in the air had a bitter bite. The Old Guard was tucked away in their homes, no doubt. As they made their way to the butcher, Scarlett saw the stiff trot of India Wilkes approaching from the east side of the street. Scarlett prepared herself to shun the "greyhound" as Pilar had called her, and a small smile spread across Scarlett's face, that made India stop in her tracks.

"What are you smiling at?"

Scarlett stared her straight in her eyes, and said, "Nothing, now."

India looked down her snout at Scarlett, and opened her mouth, and her squeaky voice chirped, "You are vile, and I refuse to speak to you on this street."

"Well, why don't you just keeping walking, I don't recall starting this conversation. By the way, you should be really proud of Beau's sketches, he was making a lovely sketch of his father when I saw them at the office this morning."

"Scarlett, you best leave my brother alone or I-"

"Is that what you are doing these days, India, worrying about your brother's virtue because nobody is wanting yours?"

India's face turned purple, then red and she stormed off toward the other side of the street.

Mammy witnessed the entire scene, and sat there with her mouth gaping open, "Miz Scarlett, why you acting like po' white trash?"

"Mammy, stop it. This is the best I have felt all day," Scarlett's voice sang, and for a moment she sounded like the sixteen year old belle.

At the butcher, Scarlett let Mammy do the ordering and nodded with approval, as the bill was settled. Mrs. Elsing came in just as the last of their orders were being placed, and smiled at Scarlett with a small nod.

" Good day, Mrs. Elsing," Scarlett chirped.

"Good day," answered the old woman, as she eyed the packs and packs of brown papered meet in Mammy's basket.

"Mrs. Elsing, the pork is beautiful today, perhaps you should get some for supper," offered Scarlett, thinking that the money she was using at the butcher was courtesy of her mills.

"I will have to look at it, thank you."

Scarlett nodded as she left the butcher and headed out in the street. Mammy looked at Scarlett and asked, "Are you feeling well, Miz Scarlett?"

"I feel much better walking, Mammy. I was just upset, the books was a mess and the Mills are doing terrible."

"Miz Scarlett, that ain't none of your worries. You should not even worry about that place."

Scarlett turned and said, "I promised Melly that I would take care of Ashley and Beau. I have to worry about it."

"You can't help people that don't help hisself," Mammy said what she had thought for so long, "And I think that Miz Melanie wants you to keep an eye on them, not do everything for them, you do too much."

Scarlett opened her mouth to speak, but Mammy went on, "I only saying this, cause my lamb is sick, you looked right poorly at that Mill, and you yelled at Mister Ashley. I's tellin' you, you need to rest."

Scarlett saw concern in Mammy's dark eyes and lowered her head, "Okay, Mammy."

At the end of the square the carriage waited for them, and Mammy urged Scarlett to get home as it was almost time for dinner, and she needed a rest. As they approached the carriage, a small figure walked toward them waving. Scarlett waved back and met Pilar at the corner.

"Scarlett, you haven't left yet?"

"Pilar, I'm glad to see you. No, plans have changed, my sister decided to visit family in Savannah, so I'm here for a few more weeks. Do come by and visit."

"No, no. It is my turn to return the hospitality. Won't you come to brunch at my house on Saturday morning. My cook is from New Orleans, and I know you will enjoy it. Why don't you come, too."

Pilar extended her hand to Mammy, and the old woman's eyes went wide.

"We would love to Pilar. I'll bring Mammy, maybe she can get some tips from your cook."

"Oh, yes, you will love my Nereesa, she cooks the best gumbo and her crepes are superior to your, pan cakes?"

Scarlett laughed, "Oh, I know just how delicious they are! We will see you Saturday, what time?'

"About eleven, that's when we eat."

"That sounds like a great time, I can get my beauty rest."

Pilar reached over and kissed Scarletts cheek and pet Mammy's hand, "We will be glad to see you."

As soon as the carriage door closed Mammy glared at Scarlett, "Now who is that?"

"Mammy, her name is Pilar. She's is from New Orleans."

"She is too friendly with black folks, I kno' not what to do when she asked me to her house. It ain't proper."

"In New Orleans people are very friendly with black folks. Some of them are even married to whites."

"What? Na' that lady, she talk funny? Is she from another place?"

"No, she's born in New Orleans."

"Why she talk funny, and she is sun burnt, people in Na' Awlins, don't mind the sun?"

"She speaks Spanish, her family is from Cuba. SHe is naturally dark skinned, Mammy."

Mammy just shook her head, "You know you could be friends with these Atlanta ladies, and not dos' gypsies from Na' Awlins-"

"Those "ladies" as you call them, are evil and malicious. They hate me, and Pilar is the first "lady" who has shown me some kindness, so enough about her. We are going to eat at her house on Saturday."

"Who eat pancakes at 11 o'clock, that is too late for breakfast and too early for dinner."

"Fiddle dee dee, Mammy, Rhett and I ate breakfast at noon in New Orleans."

"Miz Scareltt, I don't need to kno' that."

Scarlett suddenly blushed at what she led to with her statement, and changed the subject, "I just want to take a nap as soon as I get in-"

"No you isn't you gonna eat sumpthin, first, you looking so pale."

Scarlett settled back and felt her stomach growl for the first time in weeks, and actually felt like eating a pancake, some grits and a hot cup of coffee.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 **Thanks for the reviews, I see lots of you are reading the story! I'm excited it has been so well received, the next chapters are going to jump to Christmas, when it will really take off! I live in New Orleans, and I have personally eaten these foods at home and in restaurants, so this is a typical brunch items served at The COUrt of the Two sisters, ENjoy!**

Saturday was a dismal cloudy day, and the threat of more cold weather was upon Atlanta. Scarlett slept longer than usual, and was awoken by Mammy insisting she have hot tea and a bowl of fruit to hold her over until eleven o'clock.

"I'll just eat the apples. The food is going to be wonderful, you will see me eat a week's worth of food today."

"Miz Scarlett, don't you go makin' a glutton of yo'self."

"Would you rather I not eat? Now, hurry and do my hair up."

Mammy dutifully got to work, as she bit into her first slice of apple. Prissy hurried in with a thick wad of mail, and Scarlett took them from her glancing at each address, and tossing them on her vanity.

"Anybody write?"

"Nobody of importance. Aunt Pauline sent me a letter, I'll read it later. And a pile of bills."

"Miz Scarlett, ain't you wondering what kind of yo' Aunt Pauline has from CHarleston?"

"Not now, Mammy. It will ruin my day, one way or the other. I'll think about it later."

Mammy huffed, and was disappointed she would have to wait. Scarlett busied herself with applying her rouge, and perfume and the tiniest of earrings and her pearl broach as Mammy fluffed out the bustle and petticoats of her dress.

AFter Scarlett was dressed she looked at Mammy, "Now, go on and get your Sunday dress on and meet me downstairs."

Mammy looked with a frown at Scarlett as she waved her away. "What now, Mammy?"

"I hear about that dark lady from Pork, you know she's black."

"She is only partly black, in New Orleans, she is a lady of color."

"She got the same blood as me, and she's no better than me. I ain't goin' in her house and callin' her Miz Pilar."

"Mammy, you sound as stupid as India Wilkes!"

"I ain't as stupid as you, Miz Scarlett. You don't know a black woman when you sees her."

"She is only a little black, and she is married to a white man, a German man."

"WHat's that?"

"He is a white man, from a country named Germany, it's around France."

"Is that so? Well, if I go to New Orleans, they let me marry a white man?"

"If you want to, Mammy, I can ask her if she has a grandfather?"

"Miz Scarlett, stop making jokes. I bein' smart to tell yo' gonna get in all kinds of troubles."

"I'm already in trouble. I enjoy her company and her husband is a successive Captain, and they are very well off."

"Mules in hawrse harnesses, huh?"

"Mammy, scoot along it get dressed, I'm hungry."

Just as Jonah brought the carriage around, Mammy came down the stairs with her head hung down. Scarlett smiled at seeing that Mammy made an effort, even though her judgement was against this whole venture. Scarlett gave Mammy a gray and navy woolen shawl, and she smiled, "That one you came from Tara with was almost thread bare, probably Suellen's old one from the wartime. I used this one last year, and it is very heavy, heavier than what I need."

Mammy nodded a thank you and climbed in the carriage with her lamb.

Pilar's house was in a newer part of town, which was farther away from the center of town, but it was a brand new home with pale yellow clapboard siding and surrounded bay windows with a dark green trim. The porch was wide and wrapped around the house, and would be cheerful in the spring when the azalea bushes bloom.

Pilar's butler, took their shawls and gloves at the door and led Scarlett into the sitting room which was various shades of cream and yellow with red and pink accents from the tiny embroidered flowers on the pillows. Even on a dreary day, the sitting room was bright and airy.

"Hello, and welcome Scarlett, and Mammy. That is not your real name?"

Scarlett looked at Mammy, who's eyes were huge with insult and shock. Nobody had ever asked such a question to her. Mammy was her title she was proud of and took pride in being her charges' Mammy. She had given up her real name years ago.

Scarlett intervened, "We have called her Mammy all my life. She cared for my Mother, and me and my own little girl."

Pilar smiled, "Well, Mammy it is, if you don't mind?"

Mammy just nodded, silently.

Scarlett sat down looked around, "Mammy has been dying to meet your Nereesa, where can she find her?"

Pilar smiled, "Of course, Amos, can you please bring Mammy to visit with Nereesa."

The butler motioned to Mammy as she followed the gray haired gentleman through the hallway to the kitchen, as the door opened the scent of spices wafted through the air, and Scarlett's stomach growled.

Pilar smiled, "I hope you are hungry, Nereesa is out doing herself."

"Oh, yes, I have thought of nothing but those crepes for days."

The women laughed, and Pilar's eyes were sparkling with excitement, and she leaned in toward Scarlett, "Mr. Lang is coming home this week, I have missed him so much. I'm just glad he will be with me for Christmas. I visit Johanna everyday, and I miss her too much."

Scarlett nodded, "I understand, was she your only child?"

"Actually, I had a little boy, Javier, he would have been three this January. He died just days after birth, he was very small, and not very strong. Then it was just a few years later, I had my Johanna, she was such a robust and healthy baby. But as soon as we arrived her, within days she came down with the measles, I think she caught it on the train. ANd she was gone in a few days."

Scarlett could see in the woman's eyes, she desired more children, but considering her age, Scarlett asked, "Do you want more children?"

"Of course, I would love to give my husband a son. His first two sons were killed in the war, and the son who has survived is quite distant, but his daughter is very close to him. How about you?"

"I would love to have another child, if my husband would want to, but you see he has taken the death of my daughter quite hard. I had a fall, and I lost another baby two years ago. The doctor assures me that I would do fine to have another, but it is up to my husband."

"I see, and you have taken the second baby's lost hard yourself, no?"

"Oh, both children. I hardly left my room after Bonnie's accident, and I was so angry."

"I can see in your eyes, when you talk about your fall, you are on the verge of tears."

"It was an extremely difficult time, but enough of this, tell me what have you been up to these few days."

Pilat was taken aback by the abrupt change of subject, but being a pleasant hostess followed her guest's lead, and started to discuss how she had received several invitations for donations to Confederate this or that funds, and as soon as her husband came home, he would want to give to help these causes. Pilar gave a chuckle when she thought of attending some of these functions, but of course she knew she couldn't.

"Why not?" asked Scarlett, "You are giving good money, you should attend at least one, let me see the invitations. I have gotten them, too."

Scarlett thumbed through the ivory and grey cards, throwing the boring ones aside and stacking the nicer ones in a stack, and handed them to Pilar, "Here these are the best events."

Pilar looked at the small stack, "Only three?"

"Yes, theses are the ones that have the best in Atlanta's business men. What business is your husband in?"

"Well, he wants to use Cuba as a stopover for items from Europe as well as Cuban items like tobacco, sugar and rum, and import them to the East coast at a better cost to the saloons, stores, and customers."

Scarlett nodded her head, "Very good idea, well you will want to make the Christmas Ball, its at the hotel, and nobody's house. The house parties are the worst."

Pilar laughed, "I hope you will join us?"

Scarlett hadn't even thought of going, without Rhett, "I'll have to see if my husband is able to come home."

"If not, we can escort you, we may have a group of people joining us for Christmas. My husband wants to start shipping the day after the new year."

Amos stood at the door, "Madame, your dinner is ready."

Pilar led Scarlett into the pale gray and taupe dining room, that was adorned by white washed french style table and chairs, and a long buffer table with plates and plates of food. The smell ranged from spicy, sweet, and pungent. The windows were adorned with pale rose velvet curtains, and the table had the same color candles in crystal candelabras.

Pilar handed Scarlett a plate, and smiled, "Take whatever you would like, if you need me to explain what everything is?"

"Everything smells so wonderful, I want a bit of everything, there is so much!"

"Well, after we eat, and retire to the parlor, my servants will eat, and I do want to give you a plate to take home."

Scarlett almost fainted, did she really say she could take food home.

"Why thank you," blushed Scarlett.

Pilat smiled, "Well, I would like to send a plate for your cook to try."

"Oh," was all Scarlett could answer, ashamed of her greediness.

There was grits, and veal steaks called grillades in a tomato gravy, them the rice pancakes called "callas" with two kinds of fruit compote, soft boiled eggs with a yellow spicy sauce called Hollandais, and of course crepes, wrapped around a strawberry and sugar filling topped with whipped cream. Scarlett took a taste of everything, and it was the first time in weeks, she had cleaned her plate. As she finished the second cup of coffee, Pilar stood up, and asked, "Would you like anything else?"

Scarlett didn't answer but stared, "What?"

Pilar smiled, "I'm going for another callas, would you like anything else?"

Scarlett smiled, her sweet tooth begging her, "I do believe I will get another crepe, those strawberries are divine."

As they retired to the parlor, Scarlett felt pleasantly full, even though her stomach ached against her stays as she sat down. Pilar smiled, "I don't eat like that everyday, but on Saturday, i like to have a nice breakfast."

Scarlett laughed, "I was just thinking, I would never fit in my clothes if I ate like that everyday."

Pilar smiled, and took a deep breathe seeing her friend had lightened up since the first time she met her. She watched as Scarlett went on about how she adored the breakfast, and she had not eaten the grillades on her trip to New Orleans, and she wondered how this tiny woman could carry so much pain, but she enjoyed her company, so she didn't pry.

"Scarlett, would you like to take a walk in the park with me, while our servants eat?"

Scarlett nodded, and then added, "It's such a dreary day."

"I know, but I need to get out and stretch my legs."

Amos ordered the carriage, and the ladies were dropped off at the square.

The two figures in black headed through the path to the duck pond. The park was quite empty except for a few boys who ran through the park with bike and heavily wrapped up in coats and scarves. The two ladies stood by the pond watching the ducks and swans piddling around the pond. One of the boys left the group and approached the two women, "Excuse me, Ma'am, aren't you Mrs. Butler?"

Scarlett smiled, "Why, yes, am I. And who are you?"

"I go to school with Beau Wilkes, are you his Aunt?"

"Yes, Beau will be back at school on Monday."

"Is he still sad?"

"Yes, but he is doing better. He cannot wait to see his friends again."

"I miss him, too. He does my homework for me, and I have been getting poor marks since he's been home."

Scarlett wanted to scream at this nasty little boy, but she said, "Don't worry, I'll be sure to talk to Beau and his father about this."

The boy turned and ran away with his friends.

Pilar laughed, "Beau? You have a nephew?"

"My first marriage, his mother is my dear friend who died a few weeks ago."

"Oh, I see. Those lillies were lovely at the cemetary, she liked lavendar?"

"Yes, she was a lovely person," Scarlett's throat clenched.

Pilar got quiet, and let Scarlett have her moment, and then Scarlett went on, "Melanie was my only friend, she stood up for me to those old bats and greyhounds."

Pilar nodded, "I see she was a very special person. I hear people talk about her in town, she was a very beloved citizen."

Scarlett could not stop the tears, as they started to roll down her cheeks, and nodded,"She was."

Pilar stroked Scarlett's arm, "Oh, dear, I'm sorry that I upset you. Let's go back."

Scarlett wiped the tears and shook her head, "I'm alright. I just miss her, and I wasn't always fair with her. You see, I knew her husband in childhood, and I loved the man I imagined in my mind, but he-he."

Pilar took Scarlett into her embraced and hugged her, the human contact overwhelmed Scarlett and her trickle of tears turned into sobs, and she couldn't find the words to talk anymore. Pilar walked Scarlett back to the carriage, and the traveled back to Pilar's house.

"Scarlett, I know you loved and missed your friend, why else would you be so upset?"

"Pilar, you don't know the whole-"

"I don't want to know, I just know that you are a very nice and understanding person. We have all made mistakes in our life, and your grieving for your friend, so much so that you loved her, even if you had grand ideas about her husband. Can I ask, how did he feel about you? Did he know you loved him?"

Scarlett's eyes hardened still wet with tears, "He knew," she coughed, "And he had feelings for me, but not honorable."

Pilar pursed her lips, "I see, did he ever-"

"No," it was a swift answer, "He just talked and talked, and I believed him."

"I think you are angry, angry with yourself. But you are very young, and so inexperienced with the world."

Scarlett wiped her eyes, and gave a little laugh, "Mr. Butler wouldn't agree with you."

"Did he know about ?"

Scarlett sighed and rolled her eyes, "Did he? Yes! That's why he's gone."

Pilar shook her head, how had this lady been through so much, she was ashamed of her sheltered life, seeing this poor soul, "Has he written?"

"No, and I doubt he will."

Pilar clasped her hands, and her smiling dark eyes reminded Scarlett of Melanie, "Well, you can always spend CHristmas with us. You know you won't go hungry."

Scarlett laughed inspite of her grief, "Isn't that the truth."

When the arrived back at Pilar's house, Scarlett heard Mammy's laugh, and was relieved she had a pleasant time. Scarlett took her fur shawl and put on her gloves as she waited for Jonah to bring the carriage around. Mammy carried two large plates wrapped in cheesecloth as Amos helped her on with her new shawl.

Pilar and Scarlett said their goodbyes, and promised to have tea next week at the National Hotel. Once in the carriage, the smells from the plates permeated the air.

"Did you have a nice time, Miz Scarlett?"

"Yes, Mammy, Pilar is a lovely person, how about you?"

"Her cook, she talks like the Robillard's with that accent, I felt like I was twenty again in Savannah, and that food was so good."

"Yes, it was."

"You didn't make a pig of yo'self?"

"Of course not, "Scarlett answered shifting her eyes.

"Miz Scarlett?"

"Well, she asked me to take a second crepe. Pilar ate three callas."

Mammy shook her head, would this girl ever learn?

Scarlett was stuffed but the smell of the grillades beaconed her, and she smiled at Mammy, "Do you think, we could give one plate to Cookies and Prissy, and we could have the second plate?"

"Naw, Miz SCarlett, that is positively bad of you. No, besides, Jonah knows about the two plates, he gonna tell on us."

Scarlett pouted, and sighed sitting back in the seat, then she smiled, "What if we offer him a callas?"

Mammy laughed, "Oh he like those grillades, fo'sure."


	9. Chapter 9

I'm back and I started working on this chapter, it's been in my head, but a plot bunny distracted me- Try reading a Word Between Gentleman! Don't forget to check out , its a great chance to write a novel in a Month! I have been busy doing some research.

Chapter 9

December had come rather quickly, and Scarlett looked forward to both the upturn in sales at the store as well as the festivities. It had been a Tuesday routine that Scarlett and Pilar would meet for tea in the afternoon either at one of their homes, or at the National Hotel. Scarlett had enjoyed her talks with Pilar, who showed genuine concern for her situation, but at the same time, truly was enjoying her husband being back home.

At one of their teas Scarlett had met the quiet, tall man, Mr. Lang and had discussed business hoping to add some exotic items to her store, especially if she can get them shipped cheap, and sell them higher. Mr. Lang was quite respectful, and had visited Kennedy's with Pilar the following day.

Atlanta's Old Guard had been quietly getting ready for the Ball and Fundraisers, so many people had not paid attention of the two friends dressed in black enjoying tea and cakes in the National Hotel. And Pilar's daily visits to the cemetery were solitary except for her driver.

Mammy had not heard any news or gossip concerning Scarlett and Pilar, so put her efforts in the other direction that was receiving more and more gossip, Rhett. Mammy was tidying up Scarlett's room and restacking the growing stack of mail on her nightstand, Mammy regarded Scarlett warily before she asked.

"Miz Scarlett, you had any news in all this mail?"

Scarlett glanced at Mammy through her mirror, and sighed, "I haven't read all of it."

"Oh."

"Mammy, ask what you need to ask."

"I was jest thinkin' wit Christmas comin' folks might be writin' you."

"Folks? You mean like Captain Butler?"

"No, I'm not meanin' him." Mammy found it hard to say his name.

"Then, who?"

"Yo' Aunts, they write?"

"Aunt Pauline wrote nothing but nonsense, and Aunt Lalie was just the same with money concerns," Scarlett noted, upset there wasn't any decent gossip about Rhett or his mother.

"Oh-"

"It isn't like Suellen will write me after she sent you here, afraid I'll "ruin" her Christmas."

"Miz Scarlett, you have to understand-"

"Well, I don't! It isn't like I'm a lunatic or a hysterical woman."

Mammy regarded Scarlett with steel eyes, unable to asnwer.

Scarlett turned on her chair, "Well, I'm not!"

Mammy looked at Scarlett afraid the flood gates would burst any time, "No, you sure is strong."

Scarlett nodded, and turned her back putting on her earrings.

Mammy headed downstairs with Scarlett's tray, and shook her head, "No, Miz Scarlett, you aint hysterical, until the lights go out at night."

Mammy had heard the pacing overhead in her Mistress' room, and had approached her door, hearing the low cries and sobs from the bedroom. Mammy had longed to open the door, and comfort her, but she had heard the stories Prissy had told her about how Scarlett had screamed and thrown things at them, and she thought best to leave her alone with her grief. Mammy wondered who she was crying for Miss Bonnie, Mista Rhett or herself. Whoever it was, Scarlett sounded like a woman at a funeral moaning in a low tone as her loved one is lowered into the ground.

When Mammy returned to dress Scarlett, she found her in the closet rifling through the dresses, and stood at the door. Scarlett's eyes were wet, and she sniffled as she turned over her ballgowns.

"Miz Scarlett, you looking for sumthin'?"

"Yes, Mammy, a ballgown. I do not want to dye one black, but I think this dark indigo could be appropriate for the Christmas Ball."

"You is gwine go?"

"Yes, I give enough money, I should enjoy the food and drink at least."

"No, I mean, Mista- he is comin' home?"

"I don't know what HE is doing, but I'm going to the ball with Pilar and her husband."

Mammy stood there silent, and then she took the gown from Scarlett.

"I don't care what you or anybody will say, I'm going to go. Have that dress aired out, and I'll get some gray rosettes we can add to the bustle to dress it up, a little."

Mammy quietly started the ritual of dressing Scarlett, and she felt Mammy's silence as disapproval.

"What? WHat is the matter?'

"Nuthin'"

"Mammy? Tell me, is it Pilar?"

"I dun tole you about dat woman, but no it's, him."

"Captain Butler? Say his name!"

"No, I can't. Did you write your Aunts back, and ask them anything?"

"Hmpf, I sent them each a check! No, I can't ask them about MY husband."

"Miz Scarlett, they already kno'"

"Why because of Suellen?"

"No, everybody else."

"Well, he said he'll come back to keep gossip down, so I'll have to wait on that!"

Mammy finished her job and left the room.

Scarlett sat at her vanity and balled up her fist, punching the table, "Damn," she spouted.

Scarlett hurried out to the carriage to meet Pilar at the Town Square, they were going to shop for ball attire today, with the ball only a week away. Pilar wanted to find some additions to put on her black gown she insisted on wearing to the Ball. Scarlett had suggested she could choose a darker gray or blue, but Pilat vowed to wear the black gown she had bought in New Orleans.

The haberdashery shop was full of people purchasing ribbons and bows for the younger girls as well as the older women. Scarlett and Pilar slipped in the small shop that was being swarmed by Atlanta's confederate daughters, sisters, wives and mothers. Pilar was overwhelmed by the cackle of women, and she shook her head at Scarlett, "Maybe we should come back another day?"

"No, it will be fine," Scarlett was surprised her nerves were calmer, but when she had an idea in her head, her spells and nerves were at bay.

Pilar held back, and let Scarlett lead the way through the crowd, as they reached the counter. A young woman tapped Scarlett's shoulder, and as she spun around it was Maybelle Picard smiling at her.

"Hello, Maybelle, how are you?"

"Fine, Scarlett, Just getting ready for the ball. Same as you."

Scarlett turned to her friend, "Yes, I'm helping Pilar pick out a few ribbons."

Maybell looked behind Scarlett and stiffened, tighten her hold on the toddler on her hip, and her smile evaporated from her face, "I see. You are bringing her to the ball?"

Scarlett sensed the coldness in Maybelle's tone, and the look in her beady eyes reminded Scarlett of Mrs. Merriweather, her mother.

Scarlett laughed, "Well, no, her husband is bringing her."

"Really?" Maybelle asked.

"Yes, and if Rhett isn't back in time, he might escort me, too."

Maybelle's face blanched, "Scarlett, do you know, do you know about her?"

Scarlett's lips pursed and she stared into Maybelles eyes with a steel stare, the whine of the baby broke their silence, and Scarlett sighed, "Yes, and she knows all about me, too. I must say we are the best of friends."

"Oh," an astonished Maybelle gasped.

"And may I add Maybelle, I always thought you were above your mother, but today, I am noticing that your expression and your waistline is resembling hers more and more."

"Scarlett, that is very mean! I'll have you know I'm five months into "my condition""

"You are being me, too. And stop your Raoul to stop spreading rumors about my friend, who knows where the Picards great grandmother's ancestors originated?"

Maybelle's youngest brat, who was a month older than Scarlett's second child would have been, now began to howl at the adults' harsh tones, and Maybelle's eyes filled with tears and she backed away from Scarlett and hurried out of the shop.

Pilar put her hand on Scarlett's arm, "Don't be so harsh, you made her cry."

"I don't care, she deserves it, they are all talking about me because my husband's not here, let her cry."

Pilar blushed with embarrassment as several women who witnessed the scene glared at Scarlett as she flounced up to the front of the counter. Pilar looked back at them, and glared back. Atlanta was a friendly city, as long as you were in the right group or accepted, if not the town was down right evil and extremely unforgiving. Pilar's mouth was dry, as she saw the grey hound India Wilkes enter the store followed by the icy wind, as she marched up to Scarlett at the counter.

Scarlett prattled on with the sales girl and as she turned to Pilar with a manic smile on her face and ribbons in her hand, India's hand met her face.

There was a collective gasp in the store, and Scarlett slowly looked up into India's thin, face that was red and blotched with anger.

"How dare you-" Scarlett shouted dropping the ribbons.

"No, Scarlett, how dare you! Insult Maybelle and her family for the likes of this-this darky!"

Scarlett fumed and the anger bubbled in her chest, and her heart started to beat frantically, "You are a BITCH!" Scarlett yelled out the word that Rhett had uttered to her in anger many times. The customers started to gather their children and mothers, and piled out of the store leaving Scarlett, Pilar and India in the center with a melee of ribbons. The store clerk started gathering the discarded items as India and Scarlett squared off.

India's jaw dropped, "How dare you talk to me, like I'm low as you!"

"No, you aren't low as me, because you are too scared to speak your mind, but who knows what goes on behind that facade of decency."

"I am decent, you are the evil, black hearted woman who has chased my brother, and now you are taking up with the likes of this."

Pilar who was silent spoke up, "This? How dare you call me this, you are a cold, evil heathen. You attend all those religious ladies groups, but you can't even follow the most important rule in the bible to "Love thy Neighbor"."

India stood back, "How dare you talk to me like that, you don't know your place! Marrying a white man, and coming here flaunting around like you're one of us!"

"I am one of you, I have money, a house, and a husband, which is more than I can say about you! Just be glad, I knew enough to tell you off, in private instead of with your audience of hypocrites."

"I'll have the police come and take you away for talking-"

"India!" the male voice was strong and steady, "Your Aunt Pitty needs you."

It was Uncle Peter, and for once the old man stood erect and was forceful. India seeing the urgency in his voice, turned and left the store running to the carriage.

The store clerk glared at the two women left in her store, and Scarlett's face blushed, "I'll take a dozen rosettes, and four yards of the gray grosgrain, and a dozen ivory rosettes, and six yards of the ivory taffeta ribbon."

Scarlett waited as her order was filled and passed the girl a large bill waving her hand, "Keep the change."

The sale clerk was about to say something, but when she saw the double tip Scarlett left, she nodded and closed the drawer.

As the two headed out the door and back to the square, women who had waited outside the store whispered and stared at the two. Mumbling about Scarlett's foul language, and the violence that India had bestowed on her. No doubt, by tonight there would be a full wrestling match that had ensued in the shop.

WHen they returned to the park, Scarlett felt her heart starting to calm, but her hands had a shakiness to them and the spell of tingling started in her head. The feeling persisted, until she stopped abruptly and told Pilar, "I need to take a rest."

Pilar stood over her and say the expression on Scarlett's face smooth into a blank stare.

"Scarlett, are you okay?"

Scarlett looked up at her friend's face, but her face was a blur as the coldness that started in her chest spread to her arms and legs. Scarlett gripped her hand, afraid she would fall out on the bench. Pilar's voice got louder, "Scarlett, Scarlett!"

Scarlett's mouth was dry and she could barely talk. Amos heard the cries of PIlar, and came over scooping Scarlett up and placing her in their carriage. In the plush carriage, Scarlett's vision was restored and her trembling hands calmed, and she could speak, "I want to go home."

"I think you need to see a doctor."

"No, no. I need to get home." The fear of not getting to her home, her bed and lay down, and be safe overwhelmed Scarlett, and tears started to stream down her face. Scarlett had felt like she was dying, and the only place she wanted to be was home, actually Tara, but Suellen had fixed it, she wouldn't be there for at least three more weeks. Scarlett hung her head and cried, unable to speak.

Scarlett had undressed and curled up in the bed trying to quell the tingling that returned intermittently to her head and hands, and finally sleep claimed her several hours after dark.

Her dinner tray was left untouched, her clothes lay in piles around the room, and the gas light still burned at her vanity, as the door was darkened by a shadow, that hung over her bed, and saw her face contorted in a frown as she slept fretfully, in the middle of a nightmare, and her arms flailed as she sat straight up in the bed, looking over to her side, seeing the tall man in a dark suit, she screamed, "Get Out! Get Out!"


	10. Chapter 10

_I have been busy with work and my family, but I havent forgotten my stories. WHile I have a free weekend, I decided to update them, even while Im prepping for NANOWRIMO in November._

Chapter 10

Scarlett's eyes slowly adjusted to the lights and focused on the solid figure before her, this wasn't a dream, he was real.

All she could say was, "Rhett?"

The figure glided over to her vanity chair, and chuckled,"In the flesh, I'll wait until you're coherent."

Scarlett laid back, rubbing her eyes, and drowsily said, "I was sleeping."

"Yes, it is obvious, Scarlett, and not very well."

She glared at him under her lowered lashes, "You really don't do anything proper, waltzing into my room in the middle of the night, and scaring me!"

Rhett rested his elbows on his knees and let out a hearty laugh, "Well, this is my house, too, and you are my wife, and apparently you were having a nightmare. Is it the old one?"

Scarlett's heart beat frantically in her chest as she recalled the nightmare, and sighed, "I thought you didn't give a damn?"

Rhett smiled, "Touche, my pet. I told you I would be back, but I hadn't planned on coming to the house so soon."

"Well, what changed your mind?"

Rhett saw Scarlett's eyebrows knitted together, and the down turned expression of her mouth, and asked again, "Was it the old nightmare?"

"No, don't worry yourself-"

"Fine, you have a new one?"

"Answer me, why are you here in the middle of the night?"

"You answer my question first-"

"Bonnie, it's a nightmare about Bonnie."

Rhett eased up in the chair and was at a lost of words. He cleared his throat, "Well, I was at a poker game, and I heard the most interesting bit of gossip, and when I passed the house, and your bedroom lights were still on, I thought I would find you awake."

"WHat gossip is that?" Scarlett asked dryly, fighting sleep.

"You and India WIlkes had quite a scuffle today?"

Scarlett looked at his sardonic grinning face, and felt like slapping it. She didn't answer, but glowered at him.

"Scarlett, come now, tell me it is it true, you used foul language, and she hit you?"

"Yes, now leave me be, I'm tired."

Rhett could see her snuggled back under her covers, and yawning as sleep crept back to her. Rhett sat quietly, waiting for Scarlett to go on, but she didn't and her regular breathing told him, she was asleep. He let himself out and sat in the dining room nursing a brandy. It was nearly two in the morning, and he hadn't planned on being here, yet. He had been in town for about two days, and wanted to scope out the gossip, and decide if his presence was even needed.

Rhett had spent the last few weeks in Charleston, and had filled his time with visiting his mother and sister. But, as always, Scarlett had invaded his dreams at night and his thoughts by day. He had promised to come back to keep gossip down, but he knew it was an opening for in case he couldn't walk away. Rhett had wanted to leave and never return, but he knew it wasn't possible, as he knew that Scarlett's love wasn't possible, that is why he didn't believe her.

Apparently, Scarlett was not doing all that well on her own. Rhett had figured she would be at Tara by now, and he could have quietly slipped away, again. But, to hear the litany of scenes Scarlett had been making, he decided she needed some assistance. That woman was her own enemy.

It was close to dawn, that Rhett felt a heavy hand shaking his arm, and his name. He looked up to see Mammy standing over him, as he lifted his head from the table.

"Mista Rhett, when did you get in?"

"Mammy, Good Morning!"

"Did you see Miz Scarlett?"

Rhett chuckled, Mammy was always looking out for Scarlett, "Yes, I did."

"I sure is glad yo is home! Miz Scarlett, she is goin' down a bad road."

Rhett sat up and stifled a yawn, "How so, Mammy?" he motioned to a chair, and Mammy wavered her hand, "Mammy, sit! I insist."

Mammy relented and sighed, "Well, Miz Scarlett is takin' up with colored women. I told her, she make her own troubles."

"I thought Scarlett would surely be at Tara for Christmas."

Mammy shook her head, "Miz SUellen sends me here instead on a count she don want Miz SCarlett coming to Tara and ruining CHristmas with her troubles."

Rhett sneered, "Is that so? I bet Miz SCarlett was mad."

Mammy's eyes grew big, "Mad? Mad like a dog, but I soothe her. We gonna go after the New Year. I wish we were at Tara, then she won't be running around Atlanta with that colored woman."

"WHo is this woman, you say she's colored?"

"Yessir, she from New Orleans, and Miz Scarlett say she married to a white man, Mista Lang."

"Lang, you say. This woman, what's her name?"

"Miz Peelar."

"Pilar Lang? Never heard the name, and how did Scarlett know her?"

"She met up with her at the cemetery, and this woman brings troubles, too. Got Miz Scarlett in a fight in town with Miz India because Miz India call Miz Pilar a darkie."

"Oh?"

"I tole Miz Scarlett, you better not fight with Miz India. These old people in town are gonna talk about you mo and mo."

"So, Mammy, what about Mr. Wilkes? Has he been-"

"Mista Rhett, don' ask me about that foolishness! Miz Scarlett loves you."

Rhett glanced at the old lady with a sideways glare, "I wish I could believe that, Mammy."

"You best believe it, I don't lie!"

"I don't think you are lying, but I don't think you really know what Miz Scarlett is really thinking."

"I knows that girl since her first cries, and I sees her sad and angry without you, worst than when you left before with Miz Bonnie."

Rhett cast his eyes downward, and sighed, "I know I did wrong, but I can't sit here and let her walk out on me as soon as Mr. WIlkes snaps his fingers."

"He ain't gonna do that, and she aint going no where. Miz Scarlett now she meet you half the way, and you runs away, you need to meet her halfways now, it's the only way now."

Rhett looked at Mammy, and realized she was right, but would his pride allow him, suddenly the bell began to ring. Mammy stood up, "There she is calling me, she's up early today, I guess 'cause you here."

Rhett followed Mammy up the steps, but slipped into his own bedroom, as Mammy opened the door to the room, still in the soft light of the gaslights.

"Mammy, draw me a bath, I need to wash my hair."

"You goin' somewhere today?"

"Mammy, Rhett's back!"

Scarlett's eyes were glowing and a smile brightened her cheeks with a faint color that hadn't been there in weeks. Mammy left her as she started to dig in her closet for a suitable dress for breakfast, and then she opened the door and yelled down the hall at Mammy, "Tell Prissy to set up breakfast in the dining room this morning!"

Rhett heard the commotion in the hallway and stretched on his bed, before he had to go down to breakfast. The glitter in her voice brought him back to the day he brought her home a green bonnet, that glee over a new present, was he the new present now? ANd how long would she play with him, before she tired.

Rhett woke with a jolt the tapping at his door became louder. Rhett buttoned his shirt and opened the door, and she stood there surrounded by a lavendar scent that wafted through his room. He looked down at Scarlett, freshly bathed and her hair set in high curls, and her eyes glowing as it was reflected from her gray blue morning dress with bold black buttons. Her dimples flashed as she stated, "I thought you'd like to have breakfast downstairs this morning?"

"WHat time is it?"

"Ten o'clock."

"Yes, your usual time, some things never change."

"Yes, and I figured you would want to sleep, after all you got in so late last night."

Rhett followed SCarlett down the stairs and into the dining room, the smells of crepes with apples and pecans filled the room, as well as scrambled eggs and coffee. Rhett's stomach growled as the aroma of food hit his nose.

Scarlett poured them each some coffee as Prissy set the plates on the table. Rhett noticed the dress, and her hair, she was trying very hard to be alluring, and she would be alluring in rags.

"This looks like a wonderful breakfast, I hope you didn't go through this much trouble on my account."

"This is the usual, of course, not as much. My new friend has a wonderful cook from New Orleans, and she gave Cookie some new recipes."

"I see, although the crepes would be best with strawberries."

"I know, but we needed to finish the apples in the fruit cellar anyway."

Scarlett smiled, acting as if the last weeks never happened. Rhett thought back on what Mammy had said, about how upset Scarlett had been. So, he decided to be kind, at least during breakfast.

"Mrs. Butler, but you look very nice today, no more mourning?"

Scarlett blushed, "Well, this is just a morning dress, I wasn't planning on going out today, unless you want-"

Rhett nodded, "I see, you decided to lay low after the scene you made downtown."

Scarlett bit her lip, "No, I'm not laying low. I just wanted to have a visit with you."

Rhett didn't answer, but sipped on his coffee, "So, tell me about this friend of your from New Orleans. I may know her."

"Her name is Pilar Lang, she's married to Carson Lang, he used to smuggle in rum from Cuba for the Yankees in New Orleans."

"So, you too have a lot in common?"

"Unfortunately, we both have lost children. Her infant daughter died a few months ago with measles, but Pilar is such a good friend, and so understanding, she doesn't judge me, and we have so much in common."

Rhett laughed, "Yes, Mammy said you and India were fighting because of Pilar, seems she brings along trouble, too."

Scarlett glared, "Don't listen to Mammy, she doesn't like Pilar because she is a octoroon."

"Is that so? Well how does the rest of Atlanta feel about that?"

"Well, they wouldn't even know if it wasn't for those hateful Merriweathers. Rene Picard told the whole town that Pilar is an octoroon, and they won't receive her, but they send her invitations to donate money."

Rhett nodded, "That sounds about right."

Scarlett got quiet as she finished her second crepe, and glanced at Rhett as he toyed with the last drop of his coffee. Prissy poured them both another cup of coffee, as Scarlett put her napkin down.

"Would you like to take the coffee in the back garden? It's a nice day."

Rhett nodded and stood up following Scarlet as she led the way. The air was thin and chilly, but the warm late morning sun warmed the sunny spot in the garden where the two chairs sat separated by a wrought iron table.

"So, Rhett, how long are you going to stay?"

"At least two weeks, and after that I will see. Aren't you going to Tara?"

"I don't know."

"Oh? Pray tell."

"Well, I was so-upset I wanted to go to Tara and see Mammy and rest, but then you see Mammy came here to me, so I'm doing better now. Besides, if you are here, I don't want to run off-"

Rhett shook his hands, "Don't worry about me, you do what you want to do."

"Well, I have Pilar here, too now. And I am doing better."

"Is that so?" Rhett looked at her face as she concentrated on her cup of coffee.

Scarlett could not look in his eyes, and the silence grew to a huge mountain of deceit in between them. Rhett had spoken with Mammy, no telling what she had told him.

"Scarlett?" Rhett asked.

Scarlett looked up as she tried to avoid biting her lip.

"Don't lie to me. I come home to find you having quite a fretful nightmare, you get in a physical scuffle in town, and Mammy says you aren't entirely well."

Scarlett stared at him, she could feel a quarrel building, but not from his hateful remarks and barbs, but from the truth.

"Well, I'm not perfect."

"Nobody is, but this is quite a list of concerning behavior. I think you need to go to Tara, and get some rest."

"I'll see in two weeks, now what do you want to do today?"

"Nothing. I need to finish some business that I planned on doing before I came back here."

SCarlett sat pouting, and placed the coffee cup hard on the table.

"This conversation is not finished, Scarlett. You need to get a hold of yourself."

Suddenly, Mammy appeared in the doorway of the house, "Miz Scarlett, that woman is here and she insisted on seeing you."

Rhett looked up from his coffee, "Show her in, Mammy!" he called out.

Pilar pushed passed Mammy and hurried over to Scarlett taking her in her arms and kissing her cheek. Pilar was half crying, and hadn't even noticed Rhett. WHen she released Scarlett, she held her hands and looked at her.

"Oh, my dear friend, I was so worried about you after Amos had to carry you to the carriage, yesterday. Are you feeling better?"

Scarlett stuttered,"I-I-I'm okay, I told I was."

Rhett was by her side and stared at Pilar who had tears streaming down her face.

"What happened?'

"Really, Rhett-"

"Shut up, Scarlett. Mrs. Lang, please tell me what happened to my wife."

Pilar glanced back at Rhett and Scarlett, and sighed, "It really was nothing, she was a little weak."

"Ma'am, My wife knows I hate a liar, and I'm going to ask you again. What happened to my wife?"

Pilar sensed the man murderous gaze, and sighed, "It was after the quarrel at the dress shop. Scarlett felt weak, and my driver carried her to the wagon, and we brought her home."

Scarlett dropped her head, she felt as though her darkest secret was revealed.

"I'm sorry Scarlett,"Pilar said meekly, "I just thought you better see the doctor."

Rhett looked at Scarlett, and back at Pilar, "Thank you, Mrs. Lang. I will see that she does see a doctor, today."

"Oh, but Rhett, I don't-"

"I said to SHUT UP, Scarlett."

Rhett turned back to Pilar, and he realized she was no Melly, but a woman cut from the same cloth as his wife, "Mrs. Lang, if you would excuse us. My wife and I have much to discuss this morning."

Pilar nodded and took her leave, this man was imposing, and had the ability to see right through her, and she feared for her friend, but took her leave.

"Sit down, and now try and tell me what is wrong with you, Mrs. Butler."

Scarlett felt the tightness in her chest and the tingling in her chest spread to her arms, but the tears would not fall. She tried to scream, but the fear had paralyzed her, as she glanced up to Rhett's hard dark eyes, and whispered, "I'm crazy, I think I'm crazy."

Rhett took her in his arms, and his warm tight embraced helped the tears well in her eyes, and she sobbed out the words, "I just feel like I can't breathe, and I want to run, as far away as I can, but I can't talk or move or cry! Oh Rhett, I'm so scared!"

Rhett could feel her heart beating frantically next to his, and he wondered guiltily, "Did I do this to her?"


	11. Chapter 11

Ok, lots of R and S, this is one of my favs so far. Enjoy!

Chapter 11:

Mammy watched from the french doors as Rhett questioned that brown skinned woman, and sent her rushing out the house.

"Things gonna be good now Mista Rhett come back." Mammy thought with a smile,

Her eyes then fell upon Scarlett in Rhett's arms, crying her heart out on his lapel, without a handkerchief. Mammy shook her head, "That would do her good to act like a lady sometimes, and cry for her husband."

Mammy didn't leave her view until, she heard Mista Rhett, "Mammy, could you come here please?"

Mammy hobbled over to the couple, "Yes, Mista Rhett."

"I would like you to take Miss Scarlett to her room, and change her clothes for bed. She needs some hot tea, and I expect her to stay in bed the rest of the week. I'll be back shortly."

Mammy nodded her head and took Scarlett's arm, helping her up to bed. Scarlett was silent, as she let Mammy guide her up the stairs, her eyes were puffy, but her face was drawn and tired, it was as if she had surrendered her will and strength to someone else, all that Mammy thought was, "About time!".

Scarlett sat in her bed eyeing the tea Mammy sat next to her on her nightstand, "You know I like coffee,"

"Mista Rhett said tea, I know you don't like it, but you feeling poorly, you need tea."

"Well, at least give me some milk for it."

"Miss Scarlett, stop it, stop being so bossy!"

Scarlett stared at her and drew in a deep breathe.

"It's about time, you let your husband do things for you, and you listen."

"Is that so, Mammy? I should be a crying ninny, and listen to everything Mr. Rhett says."

Mammy nodded.

"Just get my milk, this is terrible!"

Rhett had canceled his business at the bank and hurried over to Dr. Meade's office, the old man was just getting to his office. He nodded and smiled as he saw Rhett taking off his hat and coming up the steps.

"Good Morning, Captain Butler. Made it home for Christmas?"

"Yes, I would have been back sooner, but it just could not be helped."

Rhett held the door and helped the elderly man in the office. Rhett stood by the desk, and asked,"Can I please talk with you, privately."

Dr. Meade nodded and led him into the examining room, and closed the door.

"Well, what is your complaint, Captain Butler?" Dr. Meade had heard the rumors, and feared Rhett had caught something in the weeks, he had left Scarlett.

"It's not me, it's Mrs. Butler."

"Scarlett? Well, I have heard, and seen the melee her and India caused the other day."

"Well, you see I have addressed that behavior to Scarlett, and I am concerned."

Dr. Meade started to laugh,"You scolded Scarlett, and you don't have a broken nose."

"You see, doctor, that's just it. Scarlett has confided in me that she is having-" Rhett stopped and looked the old man sitting across from him square in the eyes, "This is not a topic of gossip, do we agree on that, doctor."

Dr. Meade's face flushed, "I should hope so, you don't think I go around-"

"No, but your wife is no angel either. Are we agreed."

Dr. Meade nodded, knowing his wife, "Agreed."

"Well, like I was saying, Scarlett has been having trouble breathing, heart racing, and feeling dizzy. She thinks she's losing her mind, but I'm worried it may be something physical."

Dr Meade nodded, "Yes, I should check her out for any pneumonia or apoplexy, although she is very young."

"Well, can you come by the house and check her? I have put her to bed, and forbid her to leave the house."

"Of course, Captain Butler, I will come by this evening, just to see how you have bullied Scarlett and are still alive!"

Rhett had to chuckle, "I know, that what concerns me most, she didn't even try to protest, she just cried."

As Dr. Meade walked the younger man out, he shook his head remembering Scarlett coming to visit him not six months ago worried about Rhett. These two people who cared about each other just needed to talk, openly without pride or prejudice, and they would be the better for it.

As Rhett hurried down Peachtree, back towards the house, he saw Beau Wilkes chasing a ball in the street, he bent down and tossed it over to him.

"Uncle Rhett, you came back."

Rhett tousled the boy's hair noticing he was too big to scoop up, "Yes, I am son. How are you?"

"Fine, sir. I just, you know."

"I know, we all miss her."

The boy wiped his eye and concentrated on his ball, "Aunt India is mad with Aunt Scarlett."

Rhett tried not to laugh, so the gossip had trickled to the grade school, too.

"I heard, but you know how girls are. They are just mean and nasty, not like us boys, we are so much smarter."

Beau giggled, "Yeah, I know. Caroline Dawson tried to hit me when I told her I didn't like her."

"You see, they are all the same. Don't listen to AUnt India. Aunt Scarlett and I will come visit you at Aunt Pitty's for Christmas, you know AUnt SCarlett will have a gift for you."

Beau's face lit up, "Really?"

"Yessiree!"

Beau gave Uncle Rhett a hug and ran back to the group of boys waiting for the ball, Aunt Scarlett always had the biggest presents for him.

Rhett looked back at the porch and tilted his hat to the thin, dark figure standing on the porch, as she walked back inside and closed the door. "India WIlkes is a bitch," thought Rhett as he moved on to the street and headed to his own Taj Mahal.

As he entered the house, the drapes pulled back, letting the sunlight in the dark room, but the house was still and quiet, it was the quietness he tried to avoid since Bonnie was gone. The dark stairway leading up to the bedrooms was empty, not even the servants ran around, probably getting dinner ready, and to be honest with himself, Rhett couldn't even eat. He headed up the stairs and knocked on Scarlett's door that was closed.

"Come in," The voice called out like a silver bell.

Rhett walked in and said nothing, but sat on the edge of her bed. Scarlett sat up and looked at him, her face still white and puckered.

"I went to see Dr. Meade, he will come by tonight to give you a check up."

"Oh, ok." Scarlett said, "You didn't tell him, I'm crazy?"

Rhett laughed, "Come on, Scarlett, you have been crazy. No, I just told him your physical problems."

Scarlett's eyes narrowed and she breathed in deep, "Don't make jokes, I don't want to hear them."

"Well, I'll tell you something I was wondering about on the way home, your nightmare."

"No, Rhett, you don't want to hear about it. She's in it, and it will do you no good-"

"It may do you good."

"When have you wanted to do good for me?"

"Scarlett, I care about you, and seeing you like you were outside, you were trembling. I want to help you, if I can."

"Why? Do you feel guilty?"

Rhett stared at her, the green eyes were narrowed and they flared with a simmering rage. He didn't answer.

"Well, I don't need your pity or your help. I got the whole town's pity, the way you been acting, leaving me-"

"Lord help anybody pity you, like I said, you are not helpless. And as for me leaving, why don't you think about how I felt, and stop worrying about yourself." Rhett was getting mad, and a quarrel was not what he wanted or she needed, now.

"How you felt? I supposed I didn't because I was mourning my daughter, too, after you stole her away!" The last word came out like a sob, and tears followed. A dark hand passed her a handkerchief, and she waved it away, "I saved the first one you gave me this morning."

Rhett looked at her and shook his head laughing.

"Why are you laughing?"

"I'm laughing at us, we are a pathetic pair," Rhett stood up, "Fine, when you want to talk about your nightmare, I'll listen. I swear it won't send me into hysterics, I have made my peace with my grief and guilt."

He turned to walk out the room, and Scarlett wanted to call after him, and apologize for all her accusations after Bonnie's death, but the time had passed and it was harder to apologize now.

The chill had filled the house after the sun went down, and the fireplace was roaring with a orange and gold flames licking the bricks. Rhett sat in the parlor, waiting for to finish checking Scarlett. Rhett had finished his second brandy, when the doctor came into the doorway. His face was pinched, but he didn't look grim. Rhett offered him a glass, and he declined, "Mrs. Meade will not like the smell on me, after I took the pledge."

"Well, Dr. Meade, how is Scarlett?"

"Physically, she's healthier than a horse. Nothing wrong with her heart or lungs. I think she has some kind of hysteria, nerve problems. Women get this, and there are some easy old time remedies, but there are also so new controversial remedies. I would rather discuss this alone with Scarlett than her husband, but as seeing my old fashion remedies will fall on deaf ears-"

"You tell me what she needs to do, and I'll see she does it." Rhett said.

Doctor Meade laughed, "Well, I had given her my opinion in July about what she could do, but apparently-"

"She came to you with this ailment months ago?"

"No, she came with your ailment months ago, and I told her you needed another child."

Rhett sat down, "What? We are talking about Scarlett, not me."

"Captain Butler, the process to-" Dr. Meade looked around,"Can we talk somewhere private, like I said this is a very private situation."

Rhett got up on wobbly legs, and closed the door shut, seeing Mammy in the hallway, he said, "Go sit with Miss Scarlett, Mammy."

She lowered her head and hustled up the stairs.

"Dr. Meade, you can tell me whatever you need to, please, I am not so proper or a gentleman."

Dr. Meade took the drink then, and stared in his empty glass as he explained, "WOmen get upset, and their female organs wander in their bodies causing many symptoms that your wife has. The treatment is of an intimate nature, like intimate relations of marital duties with their husbands, so you see it will help Scarlett feel calmer, and in the end you may have another child."

"What is the other methods?"

Dr. Meade looked up, "I'd rather not say."

"Is it dangerous?"

"No, it's damn right immodest and cruel on the woman's part."

"What is it?"

"Captain Butler-"

"Scarlett would never allow me, as well as, I don't want another child, I can't lose-"

"I don't endorse it, it is with a machine a doctor does the same act that you could-perform."

Rhett went white at the thought another man touching his wife, he knew she would not agree.

"Look, son, if I were your father I would give you this advice. Talk to your wife, make your ammends, and have her make her ammends, and then get on with your lives."

Rhett nodded, "WHat have you told Scarlett?"

"I told her she was physically healthy, but she needed time to grieve for Miss Melly, and she had to talk with you about Little Bonnie, and try to think about you, not just herself, and she would feel better."

Rhett sent the doctor home in the Butler carriage, and went upstairs to see Scarlett. She sat in the bed wide awake, even though it was after ten o'clock.

"Have you spoken with Dr. Meade?" She asked dryly.

"I have."

"And did he tell you to be nice to me?'

Rhett chuckled, "Yes, he did."

"Good, he told me the same thing."

"Are you ready for bed, Scarlett?"

"Well, I've been in bed all day!" Scarlett was clearly agitated, "And he gave me something to sleep, but I'm not taking it."

"Maybe, you should, you may feel better."

"No, I would just be tired all day, and-"

"Scarlett, you are in bed for the week."

Scarlett's eyes flushed with tears, "No, I want to go to the Christmas Ball!"

Rhett stuck his hands in his pockets, "Have a baby with a woman who was a child herself," he thought. "Scarlett, the ball is still five days away. If you can be a good girl, and stay in bed and rest, I'll take you to the ball."

Scarlett glared at him, "Don't treat me like I'm a child!"

Rhett turned on his heel and left, as he turned at the door he said, "Then, don't act like one!"

In the hallway, a rush of feelings came back to him. He still loved her, but did he want her? And if he did want her, could he trust her? His hands became clammy, and he stormed down the stairs, he needed another brandy, maybe two!


	12. Chapter 12

_A HUGE MERCI BEAUCOUP! For the reviews!_

 _I'm glad you are enjoying the story, this is one of my first attempts at FF! Don't worry, Pilar and India will make it back soon, perhaps for the Ball! I have the Chapter in my head, and I will be getting it down VERY VERY soon!_

A little Help/Friend chapter 12

It had been two days since Rhett met with Doctor Meade about the delicate situation that had presented itself to Scarlett and him. He had been kind to her, and not so much as a stranger as he had in the weeks after Bonnie's death. Rhett made an effort to spend an evening in the Library having a civil conversation with Scarlett as she ate her chocolates, and joined her in a brandy, but he was ever so careful to allow himself to get close.

Scarlett on the other hand, had been on her best behavior, and had eluded to the fact that the Christmas ball was right around the corner, and her brain was busy with preparations of herself of course to make her look her best. Rhett had been concerned that Scarlett had never attempted to go out of the house, or make any excuse to go to the store, even by asking him to drive her. This was heavy on his mind, he expected a war of biblical proportions when he ordered her to be in bed for a week. So, on the third night, and fourth day that Scarlett hadn't left the house, Rhett went fishing.

"Scarlett?"

She looked up from her magazine across the side table, "Yes, Rhett?"

"I was wondering how the store is doing?"

"I guess fine, Hugh hasn't sent any word."

"Do you think we should take a ride out there tomorrow, and see how everything is doing?"

"You can go if you want. I trust you will do what's best."

Scarlett turned the page and glanced up and down at the next page in Harper's. Rhett saw her eyes glisten, and he observed without a word. She closed the magazine and yawned.

"Well, I think I will get to bed."

Scarlett stood, and placed the magazine on the coffee table, and walked toward the door, waiting to see Rhett answer back, it wasn't even nine o'clock. Rhett didn't answer back, but studied his leather bound book he was reading. He heard the latch on the door click, and he called out,

"Good night, Scarlett."

Her voice was a whisper, "Good night."

As soon as the door closed, Rhett reached over and flipped through the magazine, and glanced through the pages, looking to see what had caused Scarlett distress, and an early night. He flipped until he saw the carefully etched drawing on full page add, a Douglas fir, filled with candles, and a father holding a plump little girl on his shoulder as she placed an angel on top the tree. The caption read, "Little Ones Hold the Spirit of Christmas in Their Hearts". Rhett felt the familiar lump in his throat, and slowly placed the magazine on the table. There was ten days until Christmas, and he dreaded the day, the first Christmas without Bonnie, he had given little thought about how Scarlett would feel.

Rhett drained his glass of the last drop of brandy, and poured two more glasses, placed them on a tray, and walked up the staircase to Scarlett's room. He knocked with his free hand, and there was no answer. He called through the door, "Scarlett, I need to talk with you."

Still not an answer, so he turned the knob and the door opened to an empty room. He placed the tray with the brandies on the nightstand, and walked back into the hallway searching for Mammy, Prissy or Scarlett. It was there he noticed the light from the door that was ajar down the hall, the Nursery.

Rhett approached the door quietly, and slowly, and he heard a sob come from the bed, he closed his eyes and sighed. He had not yet made it into the nursery, not sure if he was strong enough, yet. He stood in the hall and knocked on the door, and Scarlett sat straight up on the bed wiping her eyes.

"Who's there?"

"Scarlett, I was looking for you."

"Oh, I just thought-I'd, I would check on things-"

'It's alright, I didn't want to disturb you. We can talk tomorrow, I left a brandy on your night stand."

Scarlett appeared in the doorway, and the scent that followed her was the sweet smell of Bonnie. She held a tiny silver hairbrush in her hand, that was fuzzy with black, baby curls, Scarlett quickly tucked it behind her back. Rhett looked down at her, and stepped back.

"I'll come out, if you can't come-"

Rhett's lump in his throat thickened and he nodded once.

"We can talk now, I would enjoy your company." Scarlett said, as she led the way down to her bedroom. She took the brandy sniffer in her hand as she sat at her vanity. Rhett pulled up a stool next to her, and sipped his brandy.

Scarlett was the first to talk, "You said, "you made your peace" exactly what does that mean?"

Rhett's mouth remained down turned and he looked Scarlett square in her eyes, dark on green, as he took a breath, remembering that night weeks ago, when he was fatigued with drink and sadness, and anger overtook him, he had punched the door cracking the wood, and as the pain radiated through his bleeding fist, he began to think, for the first time in months, he asked himself, "If you knew, would have you done anything differently?" and his answer was, "No."

Scarlett waited for an answer with the wide inquisitive eyes of a child, "Well?"

Her voice broke his thoughts and he looked back at her with the same flat expressionless eyes.

"I just, realized, that I would have never had denied her anything. I would have granted her most idiotic whim, and the accident was sad and terrible, but it was an extension of my own stupidity and overindulgence of a child I loved dearly. Would I had spanked her, told her no, and made her cry? No, I couldn't bear it. And even though her life was a short one, she had the happiest life that some people who live a hundred years never have."

Scarlett's eyes were wet with tears, hearing Rhett talk so openly and candid and it made sense to her, yes her daughter was truly loved, and had the happiest life, despite her parents' problems. Scarlett reached and touch Rhett's cheek, and he stiffened, she whispered "I'm sorry, Rhett."

Rhett let out a breath; he was exhausted, and could not muster up a comment or a remark.

Scarlett wanted to pour out her heart about her nightmares and regrets, but she feared if she was to start, she would never stop.

Scarlett dropped her hand in her lap and played with the ring on her finger, trying to muster enough courage to talk about a few of her feelings, and then she said, "I can't say her name either, and I miss her voice, her smile, her hugs so much. I'm sorry that we have to go through this, and I'm sorry I couldn't have given you the other baby."

Rhett didn't say a word, he watched Scarlett's fingers fidget with her wedding ring, and he thought he saw them tremble as she talked, he couldn't stand the fidgeting anymore, so he put his hand over hers, "Stop, we don't need to do this tonight. You need your rest, I'll call Mammy."

Scarlett protested, "No, not yet, it's still early."

"You aren't tired anymore?"

"No, I just don't want to see anybody else now, we were doing well, talking, Rhett."

"I think that it is enough for tonight. Besides, we should check on the store tomorrow, so get a good night's sleep."

"Oh, why don't you just-"

"Scarlett, you are going to have to face the town sooner or later. How are you going to show up at the Christmas Ball, after you have hid out in this house all week."

"It's not the fight with India, it's just I'm worried I'll get another spell again."

Rhett looked at her,"Have you been feeling ill anymore?"

"Not in the house, but I'm not so sure, if I go out."

"Well, we will find out tomorrow. You and I will go and check on the store."

Rhett pulled on the bell and left the room.

Scarlett sat at her vanity and studied her face, she noticed her eye twitched as she looked into her eyes, and silently prayed, she could make it to the store without a swoon.

It was almost three o'clock in the morning, when Rhett heard the muffled sounds through the wall of Scarlett's voice crying out, "Bonnie! Bonnie!"

It was two strong hands that she felt on her wrists as she grasped the air, and the smell of brandy and crisp feel of white linen on her cheek, as she let her tears roll down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Scarlett uttered into the chest that held her.

"Shh! Scarlett, wake up, you're having a nightmare."

Scarlett enjoyed the embrace and closed her eyes, as though afraid to wake up and realize this too was a dream. She felt her body relaxing back on the pillow, and the hands were on both sides of her body, and looking up she saw Rhett's dark face glowing from the gaslight hovering over her, and his face was sharp with concern.

"Tell me about her."

"What? No?"

"Scarlett, I heard her name, tell me about the nightmare."

"I can't. I won't, it is painful."

"I want to know, and I think you need to talk about it."

"Rhett, please, it's late. And I said, no."

"Why are you so sorry? That's all you said when I woke you up."

"Rhett, don't, you wouldn't want to know."

"Do you actually see her in your nightmare? What does she look like?"

"Yes, I see her, in her riding habit."

Rhett stood up and turned his back on her, looking out the window into the clear night. He covered his face with both hands and rubbed his eyes down to his mouth, breathing heavy, deep breathes, and then sighed. Scarlett lay quietly in her bed and waited for Rhett to yell or throw something but he didn't. He turned and looked at Scarlett in the bed, her eyes watching him, waiting.

"I shouldn't have come- I shouldn't have come in here, or back at all." Rhett said in a steady, hushed voice, and left the room.

Scarlett felt the heavy lump in her throat burst and sobs shook her body as she curled around the pillow, but it didn't give her the comfort she needed to feel safe, she wanted Rhett. Scarlett had been careful not to push or ask or plead anything from Rhett, she was hoping that Rhett would make the initiative to return to her, but now, her hopes were crushed. The memory of Rhett walking out the door flashed in her mind, and she doubted she could survive it again. This sense of panic caused her to rush to Rhett's room and pound on the door. The voice behind the door called back, "Go away!"

Scarlett pounded again, "Open up, or I'll beat this door all night!"

There was silence, but Scarlett did not give up. She pounded another six, ten, fifteen times.

Soon the door opened and a loud shout, "God damn it, stop it!"

Scarlett's eyes were wild and red rimmed and her chest heaved with panicked breathes and she crossed threshold and rushed over to her husband, who seemed dwarfed by grief. Her fist was still raised and for a flash, her face resembled Gerald O'Hara in a brawl, "Don't you leave! You hear me! You can't leave me!"

Rhett stood there, and shrugged glaring into her eyes that blazed with fury, her fist pounded his chest, she was as desperate as the night Atlanta fell. Rhett responded the same way, he took her in his arms and brushed her hair with his lips.

"I'm not leaving." Rhett whispered into her hair.

"You asked me, and I was honest. You want me to lie about it?" Scarlett pouted as she rested her head against his chest.

"No, but I haven't seen her. I loved her so much, how can you see her?"

"I was her mother, she was inside of me, she is as much a part of me as my arm or leg."

"Tell me about the nightmare."

"I can't, and I won't. It will hurt you too much."

Rhett brushed her curls off her shoulder and smoothed them down her back. Scarlett closed her eyes and placed her palms against his chest. Her touch was soft and electric to him, and he relished the gentle pressure of her touch, and the softness of her body in his arms. Dr. Meade's remedy returned to his mind for a split second, but Rhett's pride was still hurt and he could not risk the pain to have her, for even one night.

Rhett stepped back and held her at arm's length, "I won't leave you until after the Christmas Ball, don't worry about that, you'll be the belle of the Ball with the black hearted varmint to escort you."

Scarlett's face fell by the mocking change of attitude, and the loss of Rhett's arm around her.

"I'm not worried about that!" She spat at him, "I need you, Rhett. Not just for the ball, forever."

Rhett was shocked by her bluntness, and lack of dramatics. Scarlett's jaw was set, and she balled her fists in her robe, restraining to run into his arms. They were staring at each other in a stand off, until Rhett broke the silence, "Do you think you can get back to sleep?"

Scarlett stood there, and sighed, "Yes, I do it often enough, alone."

"Good night, then," Rhett smiled as he closed his bedroom door on his steel eyed wife.

Under his comforter, and staring at the ceiling, Rhett thought of nights lying next to Scarlett sated and tired listening to her breath and remembering the softness of her kisses and the roughness of their bodies, and he bit the insides of his cheeks fighting the urge to open the bedroom door next to his, and take her in his arms, and bring her to his bed.


	13. Chapter 13

Rhett stood in the foyer waiting, with the heavy lap blanket over his arm. Scarlett was thankful it had turned bitter cold that morning, and had tried to get out of going, but Rhett would not take no for an answer, and called Prissy to get her ready. It was well into late morning that Scarlett came down the stairs, in a woolen suit, with a hat, muffler and a gloves.

Rhett chuckled, and asked, "Is that you, Scarlett, under all those clothes?"

"Rhett, it's sleeting outside, do we have to go?"

"No, you have to go. Now, let's get you in the carriage."

It was a silent ride over to the store, Scarlett kept her eyes on her hands, and fiddled with her gloves. She did not bear look out the window, for fear of her spells returning, and trying hard to conceal her anxiousness. Rhett looked out the window, with one eye on Scarlett. He had never seen her so quiet or nervous before, and he didn't like it, at all.

"Stop playing with your gloves, Scarlett."

Her eyes met his, large and round, "I-I. Oh, never mind."

"What's wrong? You look terrified."

"Nothing, I'm just hoping, I don't have a spell, I told you that already." Scarlett whispered.

"There is nothing out there that's going to hurt you, the sooner, you realize that the better. Besides, I'm sure India WIlkes wouldn't be out in this weather."

"I didn't give two cents about her."

"Well, don't grow a conscience on me, now. We are here."

Rhett helped Scarlett out the carriage and walked her in the store on his arm. He noticed her darting eyes, and her hand was clutched to his forearm. He patted her gloved hand to reassure her, she was safe.

As they entered the store, Scarlett could see none of the Old Guard was there, but the store was bustling with customers. Mr. Harvey came from behind the counter to greet them.

"Mr. Butler, Mrs. Butler, what a surprise! You can see we are bursting with customers."

Scarlett looked around, and smiled, "Yes, how is the inventory?"

"Well, we sold out the ribbon and candles last week, but Dan is in the back, unpacking some stock right now. And, you got a shipment from Coo-ba?"

"Yes, Cuba. Mr. Lang got me a few luxury items try out in the store. I'll check the books and then fool with the inventory."

Scarlett made her way to the office, and Rhett shut the door behind them. He watched as her composure came back and she got to business forgetting her silly fears. Rhett leaned on the desk, and asked, "Tell me, what did you get from Cuba?"

"Oh, some luxury items, for women. Why do you care?"

"I was making sure you weren't selling cigars or rum at Kennedy's."

Scarlett laughed, "Really? How dare you ask me that? I know better-"

Rhett smiled, "Just asking is all. I'll leave you to your task."

Rhett went back to the store room and helped Dan and Hugh unpack the boxes of candles for the tree. The door had a constant ringing of the bell, and many people gathered around the shelves with toys and candy for children. Rhett spotted Pilar making her way towards the fabric bolts, and went over to assist her with a bolt of broadcloth.

"Hello, Mrs. Lang," smiled Rhett.

"Oh, Mr. Butler. I'm glad to see you're still here. How is my dear Scarlett?"

"She's doing better. My wife needed a rest, but now she's checking the books in the office."

"I'm glad, the poor dear was so upset and frail that day, I thought she was going to collapse. I see it does her good that you are back."

Rhett smiled, and nodded, "I can't take all the credit-"

"Oh, yes. I can see it in her eyes, she loves you so much."

Rhett just looked at her, and he could see the softness in her dark eyes, so much like Melanie.

Rhett hoisted the broadcloth on his shoulder, "Let's get your order cut."

Rhett left her in the capable hands of Mrs. Harvey to cut her fabric and headed back to the office.

"Mr. Butler," called Pilar, "I hope to see you tomorrow night at the ball?"

"Scarlett wouldn't have it any other way, she's been preparing all week."

Pilar smiled and nodded, "It will be a pleasure for you to meet my husband."

Just then, Scarlett's voice came from the back of the store, "Pilar, how wonderful to see you!" Pilar met Scarlett halfway and kissed her cheek.

"Your husband was helping me with some broadcloth, I'm buying for my housekeeper's Christmas."

"That's a nice weight, we have navy, too, it you don't want black."

"Oh, no. She's very traditional."

Rhett approached them, and was amazed, how Scarlett was so at ease with this woman, and how they chatted like old friends. It was the same way he and Scarlett chatted when they first knew each other, when they were friends, and Rhett was a little jealous.

"Well, ladies, I'm sorry to hurry Scarlett out, but if we want to make lunch at the National, we will need to hurry."

"Rhett? Lunch in this rain and cold?"

"Now, dear, don't fuss with your hungry husband. I told the staff we would be back for supper."

Pilar put her hand up, "Scarlett, you are looking so well, go and enjoy yourself."

Scarlett smiled, "Yes, I guess I should. We will see you at the ball, I hope this rain stops by tomorrow."

"We are looking forward to it, wait til you see my dress. Your ideas, really dressed it up!"

As Scarlett and Rhett made their way out to the carriage, Scarlett stopped, her mind racing, "Wait! I got distracted and didn't look at my shipment from Cuba!"

"Scarlett, I'm hungry and we both need to eat, it getting late. We will pass through here after lunch."

Rhett's hand went to her back and guided her towards the carriage, and feeling his fingers' pressure on her back, she allowed him to guide her inside the carriage and out of the sleeting cold. Rhett glided in behind her and sat next to her, helping her cover up with the blanket. Scarlett felt the warmth from his legs next to hers, and had forgotten her silly fear of coming out the house. She felt relieved that she was able to go to the store without a spell, and now she didn't put up the slightest protest about getting lunch, her stomach had started to growl.

Rhett's low laugh, became louder. Scarlett scowled at him, suspecting the reason.

"What's so funny?"

"You, you never disappoint."

"How so is that?"

"Your stomach is better than a clock, it's announcing it's lunch time!"

Scarlett blushed, "Well, you were the one saying you were hungry."

"And I am, but I'm gentile enough not to announce it."

Scarlett smiled, and sighed, "You never disappoint either, always a varmint."

Rhett smiled, "I think that's your pet name for me."

Very soon the carriage stopped outside the hotel, and soon the couple was sitting at a table near the window, looking over the menu. Scarlett looked around, the hotel was packed with people due to the terrible weather outside, and it was adorned with greenery, red bows and candles. The atmosphere was filled with excitement of the upcoming holiday and events, and busy with chatter.

Rhett asked, "What are you having?"

Scarlett was searching the room, "Yes, what did you say?"

"What do you want?"

"I-I don't know."

"Well, look at the menu and stop searching the room."

"I'm not searching the room, I can't believe how crowded it is today."

"Are you worried?"

"Worried? WHy?"

"ARe you afraid of India?"

"No indeed!"

"Then, the Old Guard?"

"No, why do you assume, I'm afraid?"

"Well, you looking around like a scared cat, your eyes are big as saucers. Maybe, it's Mr. Wilkes?"

"Oh, you do have to bring him up. No, I'm not looking for him!"

Scarlett dropped her head and started to read the menu. Ignoring the look on Rhett's face, and cursing him under her breath. The waiter came, and Rhett ordered for the both of them, Scarlett put her menu down, and sighed, "Whatever you're having is fine."

Rhett held up two fingers, "Two onion soups, and pork roast dinners."

Scarlett fiddled with her napkin, and avoided Rhett's face. Her mind wandered back to AShley, she started to wonder, what he was doing, and how the mills were, but didn't dare ask Rhett to ride over there. Rhett finally broke her thoughts with his booming voice, "Hello, Mrs. Merriweather!"

Scarlett sat straight up and glared. The fat, old woman came over to the table with her lanky tall grandson, Napoleon, who was close to ten years old. His monkey face reminded everybody of his silly father.

"Merry Christmas, Captain Butler, Scarlett."

Scarlett nodded, and concentrated on her napkin.

"Look at your fine grandson, how tall you have gotten, son." Rhett shook his hand.

"Thank you, sir."

"Captain Butler, " started Mrs. Merriweather, "It's good to see you back."

"Well, work cannot keep me from the holidays."

Scarlett coughed to stifle her sarcastic laugh.

"Well, just know that we are all thankful you are back, maybe things will be quiet now."

Scarlett felt her neck and cheeks rush with blood, and bit her lip, refusing to answer the old sow.

"I'm sure they will! Will we be seeing you at the ball?"

"Of course, I'm on the board!"

"Grand, just grand! It will be like old times, all of Atlanta's best families!" Rhett smiled a cheesy grin, and his foot kicked Scarlett's leg under the table, but she did not dare look up.

"I should say so, Captain Butler, we pride ourselves on the ball, and all of our generous donations."

Just as the waiter came with their soups, Mrs. Merriweather bid them a farewell and walked on her way.

Scarlett glared across the table as the steam of the soup wafted the air. Rhett was still smiling, as he felt Scarlett's heavy glare on his face, he didn't look at her, as he drawled, "That went well."

"You goad that old sow."

"Goad? No, I like to think stroke would be a better word."

"She all but told you to keep me in my place!"

"Who better to do so? As my "wife" you are my responsibility, and I thought I was helping-"

"Helping? I suppose this whole outing was to serve your promise of keeping up appearances with these old crows."

"Scarlett, eat your soup, you get so mean when your hungry, and do lower your voice."

"Well?"

"I suppose will go back and recount her seeing us, which will do your reputation good, but no, this outing was to get you out the house."

Scarlett wanted to get up and walk out, but the buzz of the crowd prevented her from causing and scene, and the day had been so calm, she hated to turn it into an argument. She stirred her soup, and started to eat. Scarlett wondered how long Rhett would stay, after the ball, and she also had the dread fill her chest, as Christmas day approached, without Bonnie. Scarlett had planned on staying in bed all day, and not even acknowledging the damn holiday, but Rhett was in town, and she knew it was coming, like an uncontrollable train.

Rhett noticed Scarlett's forehead knitted together and wondered, where her thoughts were.

"What's got your mind spinning?"

His voice was rough, and straight to the point, and Scarlett looked up with wet eyes.

"Scarlett, are you okay?"

Scarlett nodded, "I'm fine. I guess I'm just tired and hungry."

"Well, I think you need a nap as soon as we get home."

Scarlett didn't answer, but glared, "I'll take a nap, if I feel like it."

Rhett smiled a half smile, "Fine with me. I'll drop you off at the house, and then I'll come back downtown to take care of some business before supper."

Scarlett acted as if she didn't even hear him, but ate silently, with her mind racing and dreading the holiday.

As they pulled up in front of the Peachtree HOuse, and Pork rushed out with an umbrella, Rhett held the door closed on the carriage. He snaked his hand around Scarlett's arm, and looked her in the eye. Scarlett felt his stare, and bristled, preparing for an argument. He felt her body tense, and gently planted a gentle kiss on her cheek.

SHe pulled away, and stared at him, "What was that for?"

"I'm proud of you."

"Why?"

"Despite your fear of your "spells" you were a pretty good sport today."

"Is that all?"

"No, I want you to tell me about your nightmare, tonight."

Scarlett could not stop the tears from trickling down her face, "Rhett-"

The door swung open, and Pork stood there with the sleet covering the umbrella as Scarlett stood beside him. Rhett told Pork, "Miss Scarlett has had a long day, tell Mammy she needs some rest." Before Scarlett could protest, the door closed and the carriage drove away into the misting, freezing rain.


	14. Chapter 14

_Thanks for the reviews! I have had a death in my family after Thanksgiving, so I haven't written in a while, however this weekend, this chapter has been begging me to write it, even though Chapter 15 is already in my mind. So enjoy!_

 _Hint: Rhett and Scarlett did, so I moved up the rating to M, let me know if you think it should be T, tried to be tasteful._

CHapter 14: W/Help

The town hall glowed a soft warm golden light from the windows as though it was a beacon in the clear, cold Atlanta night. Women arrived in capes and furs, and discarded their winter cocoons once inside the ball. The greenery was strung from one side to the other, and caught with red velvet ribbons, and creamy white poinsettias.

Rhett helped Scarlett with her fur lined cape, as she straightened and preened her gown. As the cold air hit her shoulders, she felt his warm hand on her waist, and his mustache tickled her ear, "You look beautiful as ever."

Two couples passed them by, and did a second glance. Either shocked by who they were, or by Rhett's closeness. Scarlett stepped away, and smiled, "Now, Mr. Butler, watch yourself. I believe you are trying too hard."

Rhett ignored her barb, and took her arm, "I'm being honest, and when have I ever wanted to be appropriate. I believe it was this very room where we first-"

"Don't, Rhett," Scarlett said in a stern voice, as though commanding a horse.

Rhett stopped, and pulled her around to face him, "Scarlett, I know you enjoy this ball, and aside from all the "troubles", it has been enjoyable this last two weeks with you. So, let's try to be normal, and just enjoy the ball."

Scarlett's mouth dropped, "Are you saying, you forgive me?"

"Rhett started walking again, "I didn't say THAT! Just let's enjoy the music, food and err, friends. And to be honest, it's not about forgiving you, but I don't want to ruin the night."

Scarlett turned her attention to the welcoming table, headed by Mrs. Merriweather and Mrs. Meade.

Rhett bowed, "Good evening ladies, and such chill in the air for the Christmas Ball."

"Captain Butler," bellowed Mrs. Merriweather, "and Scarlett welcome to the ball, and thank you for your generous donation of the greenery."

Rhett nodded, "It wouldn't be CHristmas without the beautiful colors of red and green!"

"You are so right," piped Mrs. Meade, "My, but that is a lovely dress, Scarlett."

Scarlett smiled, but said very little, except, "Thank you, Mrs. Meade."

Rhett made his exit, and escorted Scarlett on to the dance floor, just as the waltz was starting. Eyes were on the couple, watching and whispering. Scarlett felt the pressure from at least a hundred eyes on them, and refused to give any of them acknowledgements. Rhett huffed a stifled laugh throughout the waltz, until she asked, "What's so funny?"

"People, they are so curious about us. It really is sad, how much thought they put on our lives."

"Well, you are not exactly keeping the gossip down, but I'm sure adding to it."

"Now, dear, don't look so sour, smile or they will talk more."

"Is this better?" Scarlett produced her sweetest dimpled grin.

"Perfect," Rhett grinned back, and pecked her cheek, just as the waltz stopped.

Rhett escorted Scarlett to their table, where they met the Langs, as they announced dinner would be served. Across the room, Ashley sat at a table with India and Pitty dressed in exact shades of gray and black. India glanced over her shoulder at the Butler Lang table and stiffened her back. Ashely rose and made his way over to the corner table where the Butlers sat.

"Good evening, Scarlett, Rhett." Ashley's voice was low, but clear.

The four occupants at the table looked up and only Scarlett smiled, "Ashley, it's good to see you."

"It's been a while, Scarlett. Are you feeling better? I saw Mammy last week, and she said you were getting a rest."

Rhett put his hand over his wife's and answered, "Yes, I am making sure Scarlett is getting all the rest she needs. We have been through so much this year."

"Yes, i understand, Rhett," Ashley nodded as he glanced over at the other couple.

"Forgive me, Ashley, this is Mr. and Mrs. Lang," Scarlett made the introductions, as the couple shook hands with Ashley.

"Well, I best get back to our table, or dinner will be ice cold."

Scarlett watched as Ashley made his way back over to the table of eight. Her trance was broken by PIlar's question, "Are we the only ones at this table?"

Scarlett looked back at Pilar, "I believe so."

As Rhett and Carson left to get glasses of wine, Pilar lowered her voice, "Is that golden haired man, him?"

Scarlett looked at her with wet eyes, "Yes, and for the life of me, I feel nothing for him, now, only pity. Seeing him reminds me of Melly, and how horrible I was."

"Scarlett, now don't do this tonight to yourself. " Pilar said quickly as Rhett took his seat next to his wife.

"Is everybody doing well?" Rhett asked looking from Pilar to Scarlett.

"I'm fine, Rhett," Scarlett answered quickly, "Did you get the white wine?"

"Yes, unless you need something stronger?"

Scarlett didn't answer him, but took a gulp of wine.

Soon all the board members and the dignitaries took their places on the stage for the speeches and words of gratitude. Scarlett's mind wandered from RHett to Melly to Bonnie, and finally, her mind would not settle its wandering, and she excused herself. Pilar followed after her onto the front veranda of the town hall.

Scarlett stood behind the large pillar and bent her head to cry. She was sobbing when Pilar caught up to her. Pilar hugged Scarlett letting her cry on her shoulder.

"There, there, you need to just remember the happiest memories, not the terrible ones. You were good to Melly and her family."

Scarlett sat up, and wiped her eyes with her hands, "It's just, I wish, I could have made it up to her. You don't know how many times-"

"Shhh! you mustn't do this. Rhett is here tonight with you, don't you want to be with him?"

"Yes, but… I don't know when he'll leave again, and it's all because I was so stupid and blind."

"But you have a lifetime to make it up to him, he loves you."

"Dessert is served, I know you don't want to miss it."

The two women turned around to see Rhett standing behind them. Pilar followed Scarlett back into the hall, and as Rhett took his seat next to her, "Are you feeling ill?"

"No," Scarlett answered as she cut a piece of the warm pecan pie.

Rhett was interrupted by the music that started back again, and this time it was Christmas carols, and a group of robed children came on the stage to sing. Fair haired boys and girls of Atlanta's finest families sang with sweet youthful voices. Rhett put his glass down and listened, Scarlett ignored it as background music and continued to eat. Pilar placed her fork down and watched the children, humming along with the songs. Scarlett looked over at Pilar and saw the tears streaming down her face, and for a moment she thought, "We must be the saddest group of people here."

Soon Carson put his hand over Pilar's and whispered something in her ear, and a moment later they excused themselves. Scarlett looked up at Rhett, he was watching the group of children as though he was looking for someone, and Scarlett placed her fork down and realized, it was Bonnie. She could have been in the children's choir this year, and been up on the stage with her mass of dark locks among these flaxen haired children singing her little heart out, Rhett would have seen to it she was.

Scarlett placed her hand on his arm, and whispered, "Do you want to go?"

Rhett looked back, speechless, "No."

"Rhett, I want to go."

As the carriage made it's way up the hill to their home, Scarlett and Rhett sat quietly. Soon they found themselves in the library of the Peachtree house, with the fire blazing in the fireplace. Scarlett sat, bundled in her cape, and Rhett sat across from her in the other chair, still in his coat. He looked at her, and she sat motionless.

"Scarlett, what's wrong?"

She looked up as if she was pulled from a dream, "I miss Melly and Bonnie."

Rhett looked like his face had been slapped at hearing her name, "I do, too."

"We shouldn't have gone tonight." Scarlett blurted out just as tears began to pour out her eyes, and she grabbed the book on the table and hurled it at the wall. Rhett watched her, so much like when he met her, full of anger over that which was beyond her control.

Rhett's heart was full of grief, and he bit his lip as angry tears burned his eyes.

"Damnit!" Scarlett yelled as she ran over to the book and started kicking and pounding on it as she was on her hands and knees sobbing. Rhett was at her side, helping her to her feet and walking her to the sofa.

"Scarlett, get a hold of yourself!" Rhett slapped her face, and she looked at him in shock and slapped him back. Rhett grabbed her by the shoulders, as she broke down in his arms. Her body was next to his, and shook with sobs, as he held her like a child next to his chest. His face contorted and he joined her in crying. It seemed they stood there for hours, holding each other, and then he felt Scarlett take a deep breath and sighed.

Rhett wiped his wet eyes with a handkerchief before he wiped Scarlett's eyes. Her face was puckered and pouted like a child's. He lifted her chin and said, "Let's get you to bed."

Scarlett's voice was hoarse, as she croaked out, "Yes."

Rhett walked her upstairs and helped Scarlett with her cape and unbuttoned her navy blue evening gown. Scarlett allowed him to unlace her, exposing her chemise. It was then she turned in his arms, and held his strong warm hands in hers which were like ice.

"Rhett, don't leave me," said Scarlett as she took the corset and tossed it on the vanity bench.

Her green eyes were red rimmed like two saucers looking into his with a need and fever, he had never seen before this night. Rhett was exhausted emotionally and physically, and he was tired of fighting it anymore, the look in her eyes was total surrender, he had waited for this moment since that day at Twelve Oaks. Her lips were cherry red and pouting into a perfect heart, as he took her mouth to his and kissed her with familiar lips that had missed each other clung to the passion of the kiss. Rhett kissed her slowly, not wanting it to end, and Scarlett kissed him back, pulling her body closer to his body, so that the fluttering of her heart met his pounding heart.

Rhett's hands found her body under her silk chemise, even though he couldn't tell where the chemise ended and her skin started, her curves fit into his hands, as he lowered her onto the bed. His lips left hers and found her body, as he caressed every inch with kisses, and her lips parted moaning his name, "Rhett, oh, Rhett." as her hands searched his shoulders and dug her nails into them. Her body shifted under his to meet his hands, the only word he could say was, "Scarlett.", at that moment nothing else existed.

Scarlett's breath was quick and halting, and her body trembled as her clothing was discarded, and her cool hands warmed next to his chest, and his warm hands pulled her closer so there was no distance between them, and as he pushed their bodies closer, Rhett looked into her eyes that held a fevered green glow, and she said, "Rhett, I love you." It was a statement filled with passion and honesty, he had never felt, and their uniting was a complete surrender on both parts, Scarlett freely gave herself to Rhett, as he took her slowly, careful not to miss a moment.

Rhett beard rubbed against her face as she pulled him closer to her, as Rhett brought Scarlett to a fevered passion, she never knew, Scarlett cried out of joy, satisfaction and the unknown. It made Rhett push further in his determination to have her completely reaching her body, as though he encompassed her soul and being. He collapsed on her heaving chest, and moaned her name into her skin with rough, hot lips. Scarlett brushed his sweaty, hair off his forehead, and her soft lips brushed it with a kiss.

As Rhett rolled off of her, the cold air of the night assaulted her naked body, and Scarlett curled up into the blankets and turned away looking into the softly lit room. She could hear Rhett's breathing slowly return to normal, as the tremors lessened in his body, and his arm was soon draped over her body and his mouth was next to her ear, "Are you cold?"

Scarlett could only nod, embarrassed by her display of passion. His hard, strong body pressed against her back, and his mustache tickled her cheek as he gave her a kiss, and she allowed her body to relax into his feeling safe and warm. Scarlett felt his chest on her back, and soon it was a low hum of a snore, as he drifted to sleep next to her, and his warmth enveloped her body and soul.

Scarlett wondered how she could lose herself so completely with Rhett, it was like giving her soul to Rhett. Was it so different because she loved him? When she was in his arms, and feeling his body next to hers, she could have died in that moment, and it wouldn't have mattered, was that what love was? But what haunted her most was that she told him she loved him, but he hadn't said it back, as though she needed the reassurance, she felt his lips on her hair, as Rhett murmured in his sleep, "Scarlett."


	15. Chapter 15

So, havent gotten to Christmas yet, I'm getting there, but this chapter is stocked full of interactions and humor: We got Dr. Meade, AShley, India and of course Mammy and Rhett. I think it adds some more possible drama, and opens up some story lines! YAY, let me know whatcha think!

Thanks for all the reviews! and for my Followers, I hope I'm keeping you interested!

It was early morning, and the sun had started to creep through the sheer panels of the bedroom. Scarlett rolled on her back and stretched out, unaware of her nakedness at first, when a chuckle from the chair caused her to sit straight up and clutch the covers.

A cloud of smoke evaporated from around his head, as Rhett grinned, "Good Morning to you too!"

"Rhett- your- uh-"

"Still here, yes. I think it was the first good night's sleep I had in months."

Scarlett blushed and smiled, "Yes, I must say I slept well, too."

The air was heavy with anticipation, and the what ifs hung in their mind, but it was too early in the morning for such discussions. Rhett had replayed the look in her eyes over and over in his mind, never had he seen a woman look at him with such surrender and conviction, when she said she loved him. It made him want to take her all over again, every time he remembered. Scarlett's mind went back to the night, and she marvelled over the total lost of control of the moment and time she was with Rhett, it was exciting and unnerving, and she wanted it again.

Rhett broke the tension by asking, "I take it your tray comes up later?"

"Mammy or Prissy brings it about 9:30."

"That's three hours!"

"Yes, it is," Scarlett answered sitting up in the bed with the covers barely covering her cleavage, and an impish grin on her lips.

Rhett felt unnerved, taken by her charms, and hungry for her body. He stubbed out his cigar and locked the door, in an instant he was on top of Scarlett in the bed, her leg draped over his back, and her hands on his face, taking her mouth in his, tasting his tobacco on her tongue. They were eager to have each other, yet they were afraid to lose the moment. Her hands were warm on his body and his hands caressed her body as though it was the most precious silk. Rhett hovered over his wife, and asked in a whisper, "Open your eyes."

Scarlett looked at him with a feverish glow, and her eyes were filled with hope, as well as excitement. Rhett's dark eyes were intense and bore into hers searching for the surrender of last night, and then she said it, "I love you," and the softness of surrender crinkled her eyes, and it was all that Rhett needed, "I need you," he whispered, as he left no distance between their bodies.

Mammy had awoken, and saw that Scarlett's reticule and gloves were on the table in the Library, and hurried to her room to make sure she had gotten to bed. As Mammy approached the door, she heard Scarlett's moan and cries, and hovered her hand over the knob to rescue her lamb from a nightmare. It was Rhett's husky voice whispering Scarlett's name, that caused her to put her hand back in her pocket and hurry downstairs.

Prissy was arranging the flowers on the breakfast tray, when Mammy ordered, "Don't be going and bother Miz Scarlett this morning."

"Mammy, don't Miz Scarlett need her breakfast?"

"Do what I say, gal. If she need it, she'll call for it!"

It was almost noon, that the bell rang from Scarlett's room. And Mammy volunteered to bring the tray herself. Scarlett sat at the vanity in her robe, brushing her hair, when Mammy brought it.

"Place it on my table, Mammy," she called over her shoulder.

"Yes ma'am, by the two chairs?"

"Yes," Scarlett looked at the smug smile on Mammy's face, "Have you seen Rhett?"

"No," Mammy smiled and opened the door to leave.

"Oh, Mammy, Can you draw a bath for me?"

"Yes, ma'am," Mammy closed the door giggling.

Scarlett sat at her coffee table and poured two cups of coffee and started eating the grits and bacon that was steamy hot. Rhett came back in the room, still in his dressing gown and pajamas, and sat in the adjacent chair. The food smelled good, and he was starving.

"Mammy gave us enough for an army!" Rhett chuckled as he took the plate.

"Did you-er- see Mammy in the hallway?"

"No, why?"

"She was very mysterious when she brought the tray," Scarlett said between bites.

"Maybe she heard us in the throws of love?" Rhett stated and then bursted into laughter.

"No, Rhett, No,No!" Scarlett put her plate down, as her face turned red and her eyes grew large.

"We weren't very er, discreet, Scarlett."

"Hush up!" Scarlett felt her heart thudding in her chest, "Now the whole house will know!"

"We are married, you know, we can do this."

Scarlett pushed the thought to the back of her mind, and picked up her plate again and finished her breakfast. There was a knock on the door and Mammy brought in the towels to start the bath.

"Excuse me, Good Morning, Mister Rhett,"Mammy nodded, "The bath is ready, Miz Scarlett."

"I'll be right there, Mammy."

Mammy closed the door with a gleeful look in her eye.

Rhett drank the last of his coffee, "Yes, I believe she knows."

"I said to hush up!"Scarlett was near embarrassed tears, "I'll have a talk with her, later."

Rhett chuckled, "Don't be too mad with her. She's looking out for you is all."

"Really, I hope to God she don't go blabbering to the servants, and they will be gossipping with the others at the market!"

"Oh, Mammy's not a gossip."

Scarlett just made a "humph" sound, this would be entirely good gossip for the Atalanta crows to descend and discuss, especially if Rhett left after New Years. Scarlett met Mammy in the water closet.

"You had a good time, last night."

"Mammy, please,"

"What's wrong?"

"The ball was pitiful and depressing, but last night, Mister Rhett, and I had a very nice evening together, that is all you know."

Mammy's smiled broadened, "Come and get in the warm tub, it's chilly out here."

Scarlett sank down in the tub, wet her body and her hair, it felt safe and comforting, like Rhett's arms.

"ANd, Mammy, don't go and tell the servants about last night, whatever you know."

"Miz Scarlett," Mammy sat on the bench by the tub, "You knows I don't gossip with those people."

"I'm just saying, the whole town don't need to know about this."

"Well, they won't be hearing from me. All I saw was that Mister Rhett and you ate breakfast together, like you should. You are married to the man, and his wife, high time you start acting like you is married."

"Mammy-"

"Don't act shocked, you done had children, so I know you knows what a wife should do!"

Scarlett turned bright red, and started soaping her towel, "That is all, Mammy!"

"I'll come back to wash your hair."

"Yes, leave me be now," Scarlett demanded without looking in her face.

It was past two o'clock when Scarlett was dressed for the day, and Pork informed her that Mister Rhett had went downtown for the afternoon, and said he would return for supper. Scarlett asked Pork to get the carriage ready, she wanted to go out and visit Pilar for the afternoon. Scarlett had energy and needed an outlet to keep her busy, so her mind wouldn't race with thought about Rhett, and a visit with Pilar was always a relaxing day.

Amos pulled into the driveway of the clapboard house, and Scarlett could make out Carson sitting on the front porch. It was not usual that he would be home in the middle of the day, even on a Saturday. Scarlett reached the top of the steps, and could see his eyes were red rimmed.

"Mr. Lang?" asked Scarlett,"Whatever is the matter? Is it Pilar?"

Carson turned his head away from Scarlett, and wiped his eyes. It was Dr. Meade standing in the doorway, that got Scarlett's attention.

"Hello, Scarlett, I need to speak with Mr. Lang, excuse me."

Scarlett walked to the other side of the porch, to give the two men privacy, but all she could heard was muffled hushed voices. A chill went up Scarlett's back inspite of the sunny day, the air still held the icy chill of winter, and it was a hand on her arm that made her turn to hear Dr. Meade, "Scarlett, Mrs. Lang won't be up to visitors today, I'm afraid, she is a delicate condition."

"Oh," was all Scarlett could say, as Mr. Lang walked like a ghost back into the house.

"Let me walk you to your carriage, and ask you how you have been?"

Dr, Meade looked into Scarlett's face that was pinched and worried for her friend, but was still flushed with color, and her eyes danced with hope.

"I've been better. Having Rhett home and close has really helped me." Scarlett smiled.

Dr. Meade nodded his head with a smile, "I can see in your face, you are so much more relaxed. Now, mind you keep being a sweet wife to that husband of yours, he was so worried about you."

"Well, I had alot to deal with after, after all that has happened, but I feel safe having Rhett around more often, but Dr, Meade, is Pilar very ill?"

"No, not physically. She is still grieving for her daughter, and last night she had a very bad night sleeping. I gave her something to rest, and her husband is going to try and get her to eat something tonight. I think she'll be better in a few days, if she listens to her husband and me."

Scarlett tucked the lap blanket around her and nodded, "Is there anything I can do for her?"

"Scarlett, you have been her friend, and that means a lot to her, but let her husband work this out, now."

Scarlett nodded and the carriage moved on down town. Scarlett had worn her newest charcoal dress with silver fox fur trim, and a dark burgundy feather from her fur hat, she wanted had expected to have tea at the hotel, and wanted to be seen by all of Atlanta who had whispered about her last night. Amos pulled the carriage up near the store, and Scarlett slipped out advising him to pick her up at the town square in two hours.

The doorbell in the store rang, and there was a line of people waiting at the counter and Dan was working feverishly to take care of them all. Scarlett waved her hand and walked back to the store room. The boxes marked "CUBA" had not been opened or touched, and Scarlett let out an exasperated sighed, as she looked around for a crowbar to open them. Footsteps came from behind her and she turned to see Ashley Wilkes in the doorway of the storeroom.

"Scarlett, do you need help with that?"

"Oh, Ashley, that would be nice, can you?"

Ashley gingerly pried the wooden planks revealing the straw and bobbles glistening in the gaslamp.

"What kind of items are you getting from Cuba?" Ashley asked reaching into the box and fingering a bobble.

"Mr. Lang, the man at our table last night, he got a few things for me to try and sell in the store, you know more exotic things for gifts."

"These sure are exotic, is this shells?"

"I believe so, they look like shell necklaces, and these look like little jewelry boxes." Scarlett giggled as she demonstrated how to open the boxes.

Ashley sat on a box and sighed, "I want to talk to you."

"Yes, Ashley?"

"You look so much better, and I'm trying harder with the mills, Scarlett, really I'm doing my best."

Scarlett could not look him in the eye, "I was exhausted and I had been under a lot of sadness, but I promise never to fuss like that again."

"No, no need to apologize. I know I'm useless, Scarlett."

"Ashley, you're not useless!" Scarlett couldn't bare to see the lost look in his eye, "I-I will try and make a trip out to the mills tomorrow to check the books before the end of the year."

"Scarlett, no!" Ashley got up and stood in the doorway, ready to leave.

Scarlett grabbed his hand, "What can I do for you, AShley?"

"Nothing," Ashley said with a whisper, "I need to do it for myself."

Scarlett let his hand go, and watched as he walked around the store picking up a few items, probably gifts for Pitty, India and Beau.

Scarlett came out with an armful of shell boxes and placed them on the table next to the ladies' handkerchiefs and pins. Ashley came up and took one, "Melly would have loved one of these, we used to go to the beach when we were children," Ashley smiled with a tear in his eye.

Scarlett looked at the pearly white and pink box, and she found her eyes wet, "Yes, she would have."

"Maybe, I'll get one for India."

Scarlett didn't answer, but nodded. Ashley made his way up to the counter like a shadow, and blended in with the other customers. Scarlett followed him, and asked, "About Christmas?"

"You and Rhett are welcomed to Pitty's Christmas Eve dinner as always."

"Even with India?"

"Pitty, Beau and I would love to have you, and the majority rules."

Scarlett nodded, "I know Rhett has something he brought for Beau from CHarleston, so I know we will be there some time that night."

Ashley nodded and smiled, just as Dan finished packing his gifts. Scarlett unpacked the pearled hairpins, and the blue and white handkerchiefs from CUba. She priced them all to triple the money she put out on them, and created a beautiful sign that read, "Caribbean Treasures and Jewels"

Soon Scarlett was on her way to the town square to do her own CHristmas SHopping. SHe hadn't planned on getting Rhett a gift, but now that he was here, she needed to get him something. Just as Scarlett turned the corner towards the jewelers, she came face to face with India, who gave her a glaring stare.

"Good AFternoon, to you, too India," chirped Scarlett.

"Don't even talk to me, how dare you!"

Scarlett stopped and smirked at the bitterness of the thin, old maid, "I'm trying to offer you kind words, and you so rudely-"

"Kind words? Since when have you given anybody anything without finding a way to benefit yourself. Why my brother-"

"Your brother? India, really, thank goodness he's the only man in your life, and you can torture him."

"My brother is a fine upstanding citizen, and he loved Melanie, and you have done everything you can to taint him with your dirt."

"You forget, I'm a married woman. My husband wouldn't like you throwing around such slanderous words about me, which is more than I can say about you. You may think that I have tainted AShley with dirt, you say, but you are smothering him."

"Smothering him, I have been the only one taking care of Ashley and Beau since Melly- all you do is send money and clothes and throw around your wealth!"

"Well, good thing I have it, or the Wilkes family would be in the poorhouse!" Scarlett relished the last word and pulled open the door of the jewelers. The old man came from behind the counter and looked from Scarlett to India, and held up his hands, "Only one of you in here at a time, I don't want any fights."

Scarlett looked back at India, and then at the man square in his eyes, "Sir, I'm the only one with funds who can even attempt to darken your door."

India looked as though she was about to cry and huffed off across the street.


	16. Chapter 16

Help: Chapter 16

The sky was pink and blue, as the sun set that evening, Scarlett hurried in the house with Christmas gifts. The smell of cigars wafted through the downstairs, and she knew Rhett was home. Her stomach fluttered in anticipation, and she wondered what would be the sleeping arrangements tonight. She hadn't given much thought to the fact until she came home, and found him sitting in the library, smoking and awaiting dinner.

"Mrs. Butler, you're home," he grinned as she passed the door.

"Rhett, I need to change for dinner," Scarlett waved her hand and hurried towards the stairs with her boxes and bags.

Rhett was in the doorway in a flash, "Shopping?"

"Yes, I went downtown and picked up a few Christmas gifts."

Rhett smiled and pecked her on her cheek, "Get ready for dinner, my pet."

He smiled to go into the Library, and left her hurrying up the steps. Once in her room, Scarlett started to wonder, "Is this just for the holiday? What happened with all his talk of leaving? DOes he love me, or is he still leaving after New Years?" Scarlett cupped her ears, and was about to scream, as her head started to tingle, "Don't think about it now, think about it tomorrow!"

Mammy opened the door and found her sitting on the bed cupping her ears, and stood there watching her, "Miss Scarlett?"

Taking a deep breath, Scarlett looked up at Mammy, and released her hands, "I'm fine. I need to change, Mammy."

Scarlett changed into a simple pale gray dress without much trim, but a lace collar and brooch at her neck, and she wrapped a navy wool shawl around her as she went down to dinner. The table was set and the smell of duck and potatoes hit her nostrils and her mouth watered. Rhett rose and pulled out her chair smiling and complimenting her dress.

Scarlett sat as he poured them each a glass of wine. Her hands trembled as she raised it to her mouth. Rhett asked, "Are you chilled? Shall I get another log on the fire?"

Scarlett shook her head, "I'm fine."

Rhett cut his duck as he spoke, "So, you bought Christmas gifts?"

"Yes, just a few things, nothing much."

"Well, I guess we should get a Christmas tree? Is that alright with you?"

Scarlett swallowed her potatoes and then said, "It doesn't make a difference to me, candles and a garland is just as pretty, like Mother would have at Tara."

Rhett looked up from his wine glass, "Do you have plans for Christmas, Scarlett?"

She took a deep breath, and put her fork down. Christmas was the last thing she wanted to discuss or celebrate this year. Scarlett studied her duck as though it would fly off the plate. Rhett prompted her again, "Well? What would you like to do, dear?"

"I don't know, Rhett. I figured we would go see Aunt Pitty on Christmas Eve, then I guess we could go to mass, and Christmas day, I don't know if there is anything to celebrate."

Rhett saw that he hit a nerve, and he nodded, "Whatever you are comfortable with, we can do."

Scarlett's nerves were tight with anticipation and stress about this evening and every one after that, and her knuckles were white around her fork. Rhett placed his hand over hers, "Put down the fork, and tell me, what's bothering you?"

Scarlett dared not look in his eyes, and she kept the fork in her hand, "It's no bother, it was just a very hectic day."

"Shopping? You got worried about shopping?"

Scarlett shook her head, "I know it's silly, but-"

"What are you really worried about, Scarlett?"

"I don't want to talk about it, not now."

Rhett shrugged his shoulders, and started to eat again, "Alright, as you wish."

Scarlett finished her duck quietly, and then she asked, "Are you going to be here for Christmas?"

Rhett chewed his last bit of potatoes and grinned, "Yes, I am."

Scarlett nodded her head, and continued to eat, and he asked, "Is that what you are worried about?"

"Well, I got you a present, and I- just-I mean-"

"Yes, I'll be here for Christmas, so don't return my gift," Rhett chuckled.

Scarlett blushed, "Oh, I wasn't going to do that!"

Rhett looked out the side of his eye, and smiled, "Are you better now?"

Scarlett took a breath, "And what about after that?" her voice was still and dark.

Rhett looked at her, and closed his eyes, "I haven't made any plans, yet. Aren't you going to Tara?"

Scarlett shrugged, "Suellen is just so hateful, and I want to rest. If the weather is cold, I won't get any rest with four children running around the house. I may go later in the spring."

"I see," Rhett nodded.

The dinner dragged on longer than ever, Mammy brought cherry pie and coffee, and Rhett lazily sipped his coffee, as they sat at the table, and the clock ticked off the minutes as the night went on. They sat at the table, as the dishes were cleared away, and Rhett stretched in his chair, and said, "Well, it's getting late."

Scarlett swallowed hard and nodded, "Yes,"

"Are you going to bed early tonight? Or would you rather sit in the library a while?"

Scarlett didn't know what to answer, and she felt he was forcing her to make the decision of the activities for the evening, and she did want to feel his arms around her, again.

"Are you going out this evening, Rhett?"

Rhett's eyes got large, "No, I wasn't." He sat as though he was a dog waiting to be thrown a bone. Scarlett kept her pride as she said, "It would be nice if we sat and talked for a while."

Rhett took her arm, and guided her into the library. They sat in the leather chairs closest to the fireplace, and Rhett started first, "A few days ago, I asked you to tell me about your nightmare-"

"Rhett, let's not-"

"No, I let it go, but I need to know, Scarlett. You said you see her, I want to know how you see her? WHat does she say?"

Scarlett crossed her arms, gathering the wool shawl around her, "I told you, she's wearing her riding habit, just like that day," Scarlett could feel the coldness settling in her spine,"I see her in the mist."

"So, it's the same dream?"

"No, I'm not in the mist of a wasteland, I'm in the mist of Atlanta. I'm running down the street after you, and you are disappearing in the mist, and I run faster, but I can't catch you. I stop and fall to my knees crying, and then I feel a hand on my shoulder, and it's her- Bonnie."

Rhett winced at her name, but leaned forward, "Go on."

"Rhett, please-"

"I want to know, what does she say?"

"Bonnie touches my shoulder and says,'Don't cry, Mother.' I sit up and I try to hug her, but she blends in with the mist, and she is gone. I run through the mists calling her name, and she is saying 'Mother, Mother.' but I can't find her, then she starts crying-"

"You can't see her anymore?"

Scarlett shook her head, "She's lost in the thick mists, and you are gone, and she's crying, 'I want Daddy.'"

Rhett stood up, and walked away.

"Rhett, where are you going?"

" To bed." was all Rhett seemed to be able to say.

Scarlett felt the tears prick her eyes, and she cried for Bonnie, and then for Rhett, that dark blank look in his eyes returned and she feared for him.

Scarlett got control of herself, and she headed up the stairs, and turned to go in the nursery. She laid on the blue coverlet in the dark and breathed in her daughter's scent ever so light on the pillows and whispered her name, "Bonnie, my baby." The tears pricked her eyes as she rested her head on the bed. It seemed like an hour went by, and she heard her name, some one was in the hall calling her name, "Miss Scarlett!"

"I'm in the nursery, Mammy!"

Mammy appeared in the dark doorway with a candle, "You need help getting to bed?"

Scarlett sat up in the bed, "Mammy, I'm not sleeping. I'm just thinking. I'll call Prissy to help me to bed, later."

Mammy nodded and walked out the room, not daring to cross the threshold, it seems Scarlett was the only person in the house, who could venture in the nursery. Scarlett curled up in her shawl and fell asleep, and she dreamt.

The mist was gone, and the night was clear and cold, but the moonless night swallowed up every house, person and tree in Atlanta. Scarlett found herself in front of her house looking up and down the street for Rhett, but he was gone, and she felt the cold chill of loneliness. The rise of anxiety filled her chest, and the fear caused her to call out, "Rhett? Rhett?" But nobody came, and she saw a light dim down the street, and she started to run towards the light that seemed to grow larger as she got closer, and she called out, "Hello?". SHe felt a tug at her skirts, and Scarlett turned, and saw the small girl who clung to her skirts, smile. Her dark curls framed her face and her blue eyes twinkled as she smiled, "Mother."

Scarlett's heart warmed despite the chill she felt, "Bonnie, my darling!"

Scarlett scooped the child in her arms and kissed her cheek, feeling the white silk of her dress next to her skin. The girl wrapped her arms around her mother's neck and snuggled next to her.

The night remind dark and cold, but Bonnie didn't disappear into the dark. Scarlett smiled, and enjoyed holding the child in her arms again, feeling her weight in her arms, she hugged her tighter fiercely, afraid to let her go. The light came closer and closer to Scarlett, and it felt warm, like the sun shining on her face, and Bonnie wriggled in her grasps, as she set her down, Bonnie took her hand, "Mother, I love you!" Scarlett smiled with tears in her eyes, "I love you, too, Bonnie."

Scarlett looked around, and called out, "Rhett, she's here. I got her!"

Bonnie pointed back to the house, "Daddy's not here, he's in the house."

Scarlett looked back at the house, and the lights were lit through the windows, and the warm inviting glow beaconed her inside, and she turned to Bonnie, "Come help me find, Daddy."

Bonnie shook her head and pointed at the growing light coming from the end of the street, "No, I have to go there."

Scarlett grabbed Bonnie and started to cry, "Come home with Mother!"

Bonnie wriggled from her grasps and ran down the street toward the light, and Scarlett started yelling, "Come back, Bonnie!"

It was a heavy hand that laid on her shoulder, and Scarlett sat up with a start, Rhett was standing over her red rimmed eyes. Scarlett reached out to him, "Hold me, Rhett."

He sat on the bed and took her on his lap, and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Rhett, i had her, I held her and she ran away."

"Scarlett, you need to let her go."

"Let her go?" Scarlett felt a chill run through her spine, "What do you mean?"

"Stop wishing she was here, she's not, she's gone."

Scarlett laid her head on Rhett's chest and cried, "And are you going, next?"

All that Rhett said was, "I'm here for now."


	17. Chapter 17

**Thanks for all the reviews! I really enjoy hearing other people's opinions and ideas! ENjoy!**

Rhett sat at the table, waiting for Scarlett to come down for breakfast. He had asked for breakfast to be served after ten o'clock in the dining room. He swirled his orange juice as he thought, about Scarlett. SHe had appeared to bounce back from Bonnie's death so much faster then he did, but she was hurting more than him. It was clear she hadnt accepted it, she was still wishing for Bonnie in her dream. Perhaps, it was the child's ghost pleading to let her go. He had cried and drank to block out the world, but he had made sense of it in his mind, and he was dealing with a world without Bonnie, but Scarlett had just dove into one thing after another, burying her feelings, and then living out her wishes in her dreams.

His thoughts and worries were interrupted by the clapping of her backless slippers. Scarlett appeared in the doorway, in her velvet wrapper and slippers. Her hair had been brushed out and pulled back, and her face washed.

"Staying in your nightgown today?"

"No, I'm just slow getting up."

"Well, I thought we should have breakfast together, Mrs. Butler."

"You could have-"

"No, too many distractions in your room," Rhett chuckled.

Scarlett cut him eyes and a smirk, "Really, Rhett lower your voice."

"Not that it is not tempting, but I have a lot on my mind."

"Is that so? ABout what?" Scarlett's voice trembled, she feared this was his exit.

"Christmas, I know you don't-"

"No, I don't. I prefer to make our rounds on CHristmas Eve, and put the whole day behind us."

"But, you bought gifts?"

"Yes, I bought 4 gifts, is all I got. If I didn't you know India would tell everybody I forgot about Beau and Aunt Pitty."

"ANd me? and who is the fourth gift for?"

"Pilar, I need to go and see her today, she was quite ill after the ball."

Rhett sighed, thinking, she had forgot Ashley, "I had an idea. How about we get out of town, together?"

"Out of town? Where?"

"Anywhere you want. We could make our visits tomorrow, and leave after that."

"But the store-"

"CLose it after Christmas, you should be in the black by then?"

SCarlett's hand went to her throat as she tried to swallow her pancakes, "CLose the store?"

Rhett chuckled,"Yes, imagine that."

"No, I can't."

"Then, we'll let Henry check in on it. WE can come back after New Years, even pass through at Tara, but only for a day or two. You said you needed a rest, and I'm giving you one for Christmas, my gift to my lovely wife.'

Scarlett looked at him, and pursed her lips, "So, are we officially back together?"

Rhett looked at her, with blank eyes, "I never said that."

"Well, what about, er, the other night?" whispered Scarlett

"That, was , I don't know myself." Rhett stated as he picked up his fork with eggs, "What are your thoughts?"

Scarlett's mouth dropped, "I don't wish to discuss this, at breakfast."SHe wanted to scream, I told you 'I love you, damnit! What do you think my thoughts are?''.

Rhett kept eating, and allowed the silence to become deafening, and then he said, "As you wish."

It was well after one o'clock that they bother left the house. Scarlett's head was starting to hurt, as Rhett bid her farewell on his horse as Amos parted with the carriage. Rhett went downtown with a mission, he had to finish his shopping, see Henry Hamilton and buy tickets out of town. Scarlett simply told him, "Your choice, surprise me." He knew she hated surprises, always the one in control, she was simply sulking, and it had been about her declaration of love, that shot a pain of guilt in his heart.

Amos pulled up in front of the yellow clapboard house, in the warm sun, just as a chilled breeze ruffled Scarlett's fringed shawl. Scarlett held a small brown box in her hand, and a pan of buckwheat pancakes and syrup from Mammy wrapped up. As she knocked on the door, she heard the soft steps approach the door of Pilar's butler.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Butler."

"Good afternoon, I was inquiring about Mrs. Lang?"

"She's up and sitting on the back porch, come on in, she would love to see you."

Scarlett followed the thin man through the main hallway to the back of the house, passing up the kitchen, the smell of gumbo made her mouth water.

Pilar sat in a rocking chair wrapped in a fur lined blanket, as she saw the silhouette of Scarlett, her face brightened, "Hello, my friend!" Pilar stood up and clasped Scarlett's hands, and kissed her cheek.

"How are you, darling?" asked Scarlett taking her seat in the chair filled with sunshine.

"Better, I had a rough few days. I had a hard time getting out of bed, and then, the curse came, which was so depressing."

Scarlett nodded, "Oh, I'm sorry you have such troubles," Scarlett thought back to Melly, and her female problems, and said a quick prayer for her new friend.

"it's not so bad, it's just, I was hoping, since Carson came back, that I'd be expecting, but I'm not."

Scarlett felt a quick hot flash, and tried to remember the date. Her mind wondered, and Pilar continued to talk.

"Scarlett, Scarlett? WHere are you?"

"I'm sorry, I have a lot on my mind, you see Rhett is taking me out of town for the holidays."

"How lovely, where are you going?"

"I-I don't know, I'm letting him decide, it was his idea."

"Are things better?"

Scarlett smiled, "The same, I guess. We did have a long, talk the other night about Bonnie."

Pilar pet her hands, "Well, that's progress. Although, I am sorry you won't be here for Christmas. My sister and her husband are coming from New Orleans, and I would so love for you to meet them. They should be here Christmas day."

"I came by today, to check on you, and to bring you some of Mammy's hotcakes and syrup, she insisted."

"Mammy, she is such a dear old soul, you are lucky to have her."

Scarlett smiled and agreed, Mammy had been her rock, for as long as she remembered, "Yes, I would be lost without her."

Pilar unwrapped the pan, and broke a piece of hotcake off to taste, "You are so lucky."

"And," Scarlett smiled placing a box in Pilar's lap, "I couldn't let CHristmas go by without giving you a little something."

"Oh, Scarlett, you are so thoughful, I love presents!" Pilar dark eyes twinkled as she pulled the bow.

The box revealed a beautiful bright wine colored muffler, thick and cozy, but had the softest touch of silk. Pilar draped it over her hands, and marveled at the beauty and warmth.

"It is absolutely lovely!"

"Well, I noticed you had a thin one, and it does get colder here, then in New Orleans. When I saw this color, I thought it would compliment your coloring, and it does!"

Pilar glowed as she wrapped it around her shoulders, "It's so warm! When are you leaving?"

"The day after tomorrow, we have to bring gifts to our family in town, and then we will get an early start the next day."

Pilar nodded, "Well, before you leave, be sure to get some fruitcake from Nerissa."

Scarlett smiled politely, she remembers AUnt Pauline's fruitcake, and tried not to wince. Pilar's eyes scanned Scarlett's face it looked puff and red, like she had been crying, but she didn't want to tell her anything, so she changed the subject.

"Carson went by and checked out the new library wing they are adding, it is a lovely project, in his opinion."

Scarlett nodded, "Yes, my sister in law, Melanie had started raising the money to get it started more than five years ago."

"Is that so? One of the workmen, who were putting in the windows told Carson, they collected enough money at the ball finish the windows, but there is more work to be done, before it can open."

"Yes, there are several groups working on fund raising," Scarlett said, knowing the amount of money Rhett had wrote to these "groups" who continued to discuss his wife's failings.

"Carson thinks it would be good for me to get involved, and of course, I thought you and I could work together."

Scarlett sighed, "Well, I'll join any group, but the sewing circle, it is worst than having a tooth pulled!"

Pilar giggled, "That Merriweather bull dog? I bet she runs it?"

Scarlett snickered, "You have a way to describe people with dogs, I wonder which one I am?"

"Well, your loyal, hard working and fun, so i would say, a beagle."

Scarlett smiled, Gerald had several little beagles and they enjoyed the thrill of the hunt, but still ran and played with the children in the fields, and then she frowned teasing her friend, "Oh, I would like to be something grander like a poodle."

"No, my dear, poodles are all beauty and fluff, with very little brains, or loyalty. You are definitely a beagle."

Scarlett thought about explaining this to Rhett, but cast it aside, not to give him any more fuel to tease her, he would probably call her a mixed breed mutt.

Scarlett clasped her hands in her lap, "So, which of these "groups" are we joining?"

"Our own," Pilar said, "We could form a group to have a Mardi Gras parade, and raise money, by having business men sponsor wagons for the parade. They pay to have their wagon, and get advertising, and then have a ball afterwards, and sell tickets."

Scarlett's heart lept, at the thrill of being independently in charge of something without the clutches of the old battle axes in Atlanta, she slowly smiled, "Yes, that sounds grand!"

"I thought you would like it, my dear friend."

"I do and Melanie would have liked it, too. What can I do to help?"

"We will be partners, you are second in command because you have connections to this city, and I will do all the back ground planning, I even made up a name."

"That makes sense, what's our name?"

"Well, they call the groups Krewes, and it is usually after greek gods, so I thought Clio, the goddess of history, like in books."

Scarlett's eyes twinkled, "That does sound clever, very clever."

"Are you with me?"

Scarlett smiled, "Of, course, we can start planning after the New Year."

"I have made most of the plans already, I'll just need you to help sign up the businesses."

As Scarlett was leaving that afternoon with a basket containing a plate of fruitcake, a small pot of gumbo, and a loaf of French bread, Pilar stopped her at the door."Wait, dear. I want to give you a small present for the holiday."

"Pilar, that isn't-"

"Here," Pilar pressed a small round brooch in her gloved hand, "I have many religious ones, you keep it and wear it in good health."

Scarlett kissed her cheek, then looked down at the small modest brooch, carved into mother of pearl was the Virgin Mary holding the world, "It's lovely."

"Like I said, keep it and wear it in good health and prayer."

"Merry Christmas,: smiled Scarlett, "I'll come call on you as soon as I return."

"Until then, my friend, Merry Christmas to you, too."

When Scarlett returned, Rhett's horse was tied to the hitching post on the side of the house, and one of the stable boys, was brushing him down. Scarlett came through the back of the house, and delivered her bounty to the kitchen.

Mammy saw her first, "You done ate dinner with that lady?"

"Yes, I had a little something over there, but I want you to serve the gumbo with supper for me and Mister Rhett."

"Yes, ma'am, Mista Rhett out in the backyard, in case you looking for him."

Scarlett left the kitchen calling a "thank you" over her shoulder to Mammy.

As Scarlett started up the stairs, she heard her name called from the back door. Looking up, Rhett came striding over to her smiling, like a cat with a canary in his mouth. Scarlett smiled back.

They stood at the bottom of the stairs and he bent down to kiss her cheek, "Good afternoon."

"Rhett, did you get everything taken care of?"

"Yes, are you interested in where we are going?"

"I'm sure you are going to tell me." Scarlett shot eyes at him.

"Well, we will start off with a train ride to North, to New York city."

"By the Yankees!" Scarlett's voice shrilled, "But Rhett, how is that remotely relaxing?"

"Well, we will stay near Canada, by the Niagara Falls, it is quite relaxing so close to nature, and then we will go into the city, New York city, where I am prepared to release most of my hard earn savings on you, and your penchant for glittering baubles."

"Still, we are going by the Yankees?"

"We are the United States of America, and if their Yankees or not, I'm sure you will spend my money, but first you are going to have a good relaxing week."

"Rhett-"

"I gave you a chance to choose, and I'm glad you conceded, you probably would have me going to that farm for a week, and then off to New Orleans, you are not an adventurer, I am."

Scarlett stared at him, he was lightheartedly teasing her, so she gave up the protest, "I'll have Prissy pack my things, I assume it will be cold?"

"Very, but I'm sure you will have quite a wonderful time," Rhett tilted his head to look into her eyes, her mind was spinning, and he wondered what scheme was building in her mind, "So, how is Pilar?"

"She's feeling better, she sent gumbo for dinner and some fruitcake," the last word Scarlett made a face as she said it.

"How kind of her, she really is a good friend to you, I hope you know that."

"Yes, I do. We are going to raise money for the library after the New Year."

"Is that so, with boxing matches?" Rhett giggled.

"No, we are going to host a Mardi Gras parade and ball for the businesses, and the money they pay will go to the library, and the parade will advertise their business."

"Hmm, seems harmless enough, Pilar may be a better influence then I thought."

Rhett lingered closer, and Scarlett turned her eyes up smiling, instinctively knowing what he was thinking, and she put her hand on his chest, "Rhett, I do need to run upstairs. I've been out all afternoon."

"Are you feeling well?" Rhett asked.

"I'm fine, I just need to freshen up a bit, and relax." Scarlett started up the stairs, hoping he would be trailing behind her, but he stood at the bottom of the stairs, and watched her go up, she had eluded to putting meaning on their activities, and he wasn't ready to tackle that issue, yet. And he knew he had to be careful, no use bringing another person into this situation which was complicated enough.

Scarlett reached her room, and undid her jacket. Sitting on her chaise, she removed her boots and laid on her back staring at the ceiling, it was Christmas in four days, and in two days after that she would know, even though not for sure, but definitely by New Years day, if she wasn't in dispose, she would be pregnant. It made her think, shopping would not be as enjoyable if she was indispose, and oh Rhett would suspect, he seemed to know everything about women, that just wasn't decent. Again, she wondered about the sleeping arrangements, as well as what did Rhett expect of the evenings in New York. Niagara Falls was a romantic honeymoon destination, perhaps this was a new beginning, or the beginning of the end.


	18. Chapter 18

DOuble treat this weekend. I'm off of work for Mardi Gras,,,, so I got to do two chapters this weekend!

The train ride up north was like magic, at one point they crossed the yellowing fields of the south to the white snow covered valleys of the North. Mammy, Prissy and Pork had gladly boarded the train to Tara the following day on Christmas Eve, without a fuss, as Mammy had put it, "I got no use for those Yankees!". The visit at Aunt Pitty was exciting for Beau who got to open the the new set of soldiers from Scarlett complete with artillery and cavalry as well as a bag full of marbles and agates from Rhett with a board that could be used to play three games. Of course Aunt Pitty raved about Scarlett and Rhett extravagance on the gifts as well as the yards of dress material she got to bring to her dressmaker.

Now on the train as it pulled into the station in New York CIty, Scarlett pulled her fox coat around her tighter, as Rhett took her arm, "I've figured you to be heartier than this to the cold."

"I am, it's just so different, we don't have this much snow in the SOuth."

"Maybe that's why the Yankees look so stuck up and cold, they live in ice blocks."

Scarlett had tried to get Rhett to stay in the city first, but he insisted it would be best to be out of the hustle and bustle and noise. The ride for the past three nights, was shaky and loud at night. Scarlett woke up several times, to check her seat belt in bed, hoping she wouldn't fall out. She wanted to get a hot bath, and lay in a bed that didn't rock and clack for hours. It was Christmas Eve night, when the carriage brought them to the hotel that resembled a lodge in the wilderness.

AFter the porter brought in their bags, Rhett asked, "What do you think?"

"We are out in the middle of nowhere, why Tara would have been had more civilization!"

"Ah, but there is no waterfall at Tara,and like you said Suellen's children would be running up and down inside, making noise, listen how quiet and peaceful it is."

Scarlett got quiet for a minute, as her heartbeat increased, "True, it is peaceful, as long as we keep it that way."

"Well, three days on the train, and you only complained about the bed, you are being pretty good."

Scarlett smiled, "And, you arent being bad, enough."

Rhett looked away as he lit his cigar, "I'm on good behavior, besides I want you to relax."

Scarlett lounged in the arm chair next to him and removed her gloves, then her boots, and the maid with the Irish brogue came from the water closet, "Mrs. Butler, your bath is ready ma'am."

Scarlett nodded walked across the room, watching Rhett from over her shoulder. He concentrated on his cigar.

The bath was warm, and revived Scarlett's tired body, as she walked into the sitting room, where all that was left was the smell of Rhett's cigar. She followed the gaslights from the bedroom of the suite that beconed her to the crackling stone fireplace. As she looked in the room, Rhett sat up in the bed with his robe tied around his waist, and a set of brandy glasses on a tray with various treats and two brightly wrapped boxes.

"Just a minute!" Scarlett called as she rushed over to her trunk digging out the narrow box wrapped in gold, glittering ribbon.

Scarlett climbed into the bed and sat next to Rhett, "Are we opening gifts?"

"Well, it is midnight. And all the good Catholics are at Midnight Mass."

"And we are?" Scarlett trailed off.

"We are heathens, we are engoring liquor and gluttony treats and opening gifts!" Rhett chuckled.

"You first," Scarlett placed the box on his lap brushing his thigh, as he shifted.

"No, no, Ladies first," Rhett pushed the bigger box towards her, and Scarlett eagerly grabbed it up.

Rhett sipped his brandy and bit into a pastry as she tore the paper with vengence, and pried open the wooden box. It was a box of handkerchiefs, seven to be exact. Each starched white handkerchief was lined in delicate lace and had a gold thread swirled letter S stitched on the corner.

Scarlett stiffened, "These are lovely, so beautiful."

"Well, now you have no excuses, one for everyday of the week, I hope you don't need to use them too often." Rhett snickered as he drained his glass.

"I don't think I will, but thank you, Rhett."

Open the little one, too!" Rhett ordered as he filled his glass.

Scarlett took a sip of brandy in between, and then set her glass down, half full. She turned the little box over in her hand, and pulled the paper off with one pull, and then opened the hinged box, and the gems inside twinkled like stars. It was a tiny pair of ear bobs, that glittered like two tear drops, hanging from a gold hooks. Scarlett took them out and placed them in her ears, smiling, "How do the pearls look?"

Rhett examined them, "They are a little too pale, for your skin. They are called opals, from Australia."

Scarlett crawled out of the bed to the mirror, "Oh, they are fine, and so unusual, they glow, and they are more blue than white, now I can see them better."

"I'm glad you can compliment yourself, my pet."

Scarlett turned flashing eyes on Rhett and grabbed a roll from the tray, "Open, yours, now!"

Rhett placed the brandy on the side of the night stand, and shook the box gently, cocking an eyebrow at her.

She sat next to him, the smell of lavendar soap, and cinnamon wafted over to him with tinges of brandy, "Open it, Rhett!"

He painstakingly undid the ribbon, and peeled back the paper, the navy blue box was familiar, the only fine jewelry shop in Atlanta. He shook off the lid, and the cravat pin twinkled in the gas lights. It was the shape of a horseshoe set with diamonds and garnets, that caught his eye.

"Scarlett, it is beautiful, and so simple, who helped you pick it out?"

Scarlett's brows puckered, "I did it by myself?"

"Well, bravo, your tastes are improving!"

Scarlett swatted him, and took another sip of her brandy finishing it.

"I shall wear it to dinner tomorrow night," smiled Rhett.

Scarlett curled up next to Rhett as his arm went around her and she lounged her head on his shoulder, turning her face so that it could be easy to kiss. He watched her from the corner of his eye, and knew if he started where it would go. Having her close to him in the bed, could he lay without indulging, and she was so willing the participant.

"We'll get a good night's sleep tonight, no seat belts," chuckled Rhett slinking further down on the pillow, as she turned over placing her folded hands on his chest resting her chin. Her green eyes searched his face willing him to look at her, "I'm not all that tired."

It was a blatant invitation, and how could he resist, he felt his body tingling at the thought. He looked down at her, smiling like a lioness waiting to sink into a zebra, and then she lunged her face next to him and kissed him. The kissed tasted like brandy and sugar, and her hair fell around him wafting with lavender, Rhett couldn't help, but kiss her back, and soon she was on her back, and he was freeing himself of his robe. He looked at her, those eyes were trusting and called surrender, her mouth gently opened waiting for him. His voice was husky as he kissed her neck, "Are you sure this is wise, Scarlett?"

SHe didn't asnwer, but agreed with a hum, and then he looked at her, "Scarlett? Is this wise?" He almost shouted it, and rolled off of her.

"Rhett?" she sat up with tears in her eyes, "Wise?"

He ran his hands through his hair, "Yes, wise? You could get pregnant? Is that what you want?"

Scarlett winced at his vulgar language, and topic of discussion, "Well, I guess you don't want-"

"No," he answered, again as if refusing a piece of pie,"I don't need to bring another person into- this."

Scarlett slowly turned over and laid away from him, as the tears ran down her face, "Good Night, she coughed over her shoulder.

Rhett laid there, as the bed shook with her sobbing, he didn't know what to say, or do. He didn't want to hurt her, but he was mad, how thoughtless she was, and impulsive. He took a deep breath and said, "Come over here, Scarlett."

She didn't answer, and she stopped crying, to wipe her eyes with her hand, "What?"

"Come here, you're not a leper. I just don't want to get carried away."

"You did last week?" she answered with a building venom, "I guess you still hate me!"

" I don't hate you."

"You don't love me, I told you-"

"Scarlett, stop with semantics, your no SHakespeare."

"SHut up and leave me alone!"

His rejection was getting to her vanity and her own selfish wants, and he did as she said, he shut up, and laid there listening to her sobs die down, as each one ripped his heart, and then her low hum of a snore. She could be pregnant already, and then what. He couldn't think about that now, she had no business having another child, when she hadn't dealt with losing Bonnie, and when had she ever wanted children, is it now that she wanted to trap him? His head hurt thinking about all this intricate web of hurt and pain. It made him want to run, run away from himself, but he was in bed with her in the wilderness, he had brought this on himself. His good nature deed, to help her relax had caused her more pain. Soon sleep made his lids heavy and he was sleeping, a restless sleep that swung between worries and exhaustion. It was in the early morning hours of Christmas that he felt a warm bundle on his back and turned over to see her black head buried in his back, and her icy feet on his legs. Rhett turned over and put his arms around her pulling her close to warmth, she was so harmless in her sleep, it was the only time of the day he could appreciate her sweet face, in spite of her low snore and her drool, she was his, if he wanted her, now, and she said she loved him. Wasn't that what he wanted? WHy was he fighting it now? It was his pride and his hurt for the years of abuse he had suffered in the name of oving AShley WIlkes. But, she hadn't even thought enough of buying Ashley a gift, much less longing for him. No, now Rhett was the object of her obsession, but was it obsession, she had been so docile and so controlled around him. Even after her spells left her after they followed Dr. Meade's advice, he couldn't risk having a child, his heart couldn't handle it now, and he wondered if she could handle it, barely a year after her accident.

His body tensed as he thought of her, and her eyes fluttered open,"Rhett?" she asked groggily, "What are you doing?"

"Are you cold, you were crawling up my back?"

She nodded and put her head back on his chest, and drifted to sleep.

Breakfast had been a quiet meal, and so was the preparation to visit the bridge and the falls. Scarlett had brought her warmest clothes, and she felt dowdy and stiff in the layers of wool and furs. The horse that pulled the sleigh was a monstrous size with heavy fur on it's legs, and it jerked and pulled the sleigh through the thick snow. Scarlett sat across from Rhett and stared into the snow, biting her tongue with her hurt vanity and pride simmering. Rhett's face was pinched and worried, and he was sorry for his part of making this trip so unpleasant, but she wouldn't listen to him, and every time he opened his mouth, she pointed her index finger at him, and her sharp eyes cut daggers at him. Finally, she said, "I don't care to hear anything, you have to say."

Rhett had his own anger seething, how dare she dismiss him because she didn't get her way. He had to talk with her and clear the air or this was going to be a dismal trip, and he wanted to have an enjoyable holiday with her. He finally said, "We can go home tomorrow, Scarlett."

Scarlett would not meet his eyes, she let him talk to the air.

"Scarlett, you heard what I said?"

She turned slowly to look at him, "I'm not a child, you can play games with like that."

"Then, stop acting like a child, and talk to me."

"What do you want to talk about so much? How you are going to leave me again, and how you don't love me anymore, now that I'm willing to meet you half way!" The fury that was underneath was aflame, and Rhett just waited for her storm to blow over.

"Did you ever think, I'm worried about you? You are having these awful dreams and it has been not quite a year since your accident."

Scarlett humphed and pulled the lap blanket up higher, "Now, you are using all my ailments against me!"

"Look, I left, and I was angry, but I came back-"

"To keep gossip down!"

"Maybe that, but I see that you need-"

"Don't stay out of pity!"

"Scarlett, lower your voice, these Yankees aren't used to your outbursts! I'm not staying out of pity, I wanted us to have a pleasant holiday, and get away from -"

"You brought me to a frozen wilderness to see some water, an why, if you can't stand me!"

"Like I said, trains run everyday, we can go home tomorrow."

Scarlett ignored him, until he asked, "Well?"

Scarlett looked at him, and sniffed, "No, I don't want to get back on that train for three days."

They sat in silence, until the sleigh stopped at the foot of the bridge. The bridge was fairly new, younger than Scarlett, and a guide took them around in the still cold air talking about Native Americans and how the Falls work. Scarlett was surprised the water still flowed in the bitter cold, but the guide informed her, it had "warmed up" the past few days, and it was late January when they expected colder weather, or even a slim chance that the falls would freeze. The bridge was made of stone and wood, and Rhett walked with her up to the middle to see a better view of the falls, it was amazing and breath taking, and for the hour they spent in the freezing cold, Scarlett forgot about her troubles with Rhett.

Rhett nudged her with his elbows, "That fall over there is called the Horseshoe Falls, like the pin you got me."

Scarlett sneered, "I guess you have something to remember this trip by, then."

Rhett chuckled, "Oh, I'll remember it, believe me."

"WHen your gone again, I guess you will."

Rhett was not getting trapped in an argument, "Maybe I don't want to go, just yet."

"We'll see," said Scarlett as she pulled away from his arm, and made her way back down the bridge to the sleigh.

It was cold, stark and dark, when they made it back to the lodge, and Scarlett refused to take off her coat until she had drank her second cup of tea, and she rolled her eyes, as Rhett preened himself to go out for their "Christmas" dinner. The irish maid, Molly, had come back up to help her get dressed for dinner, and the girl's mouth never stopped running.

"Mrs. Butler, but that is a beauty of a dress."

"Thank you, how do you think it looks with my opals?"

"Opals? Is that what they are?"

"Yes, what do you think?"

"Well, they look quite striking with your velvet, is that navy blue?"

"No, we call it cobalt in Atlanta, it was my daughter's favorite color."

"Your daughter, lord mercy, she must be a beauty!"

Scarlett looked at Molly," Yes, she was, you see- she's passed."

Molly's eyes filled with tears, "I shall pray for her soul, poor dear."

"Thank you, Molly, and yes, she was quite a beauty."

Scarlett made sign for the girl to leave her, and stared into the mirror. Her eyes were puffy from crying, and her skin was pale. SHe was feeling drained which could be a sign of all her ailments, but she had hoped for the most important, and then she thought of what Rhett had said, "Not even a year."

Was he right? Damn him! She didn't even know if it was safe to have a baby now, and she wasn't thinking of that when she was with Rhett, she just thought, if only she gave him what he wanted, be his wife physically, he would stay and not leave her, and love her. Scarlett would like to have a child to replace Bonnie, but was that really wanting a child, like she wanted a new dress, when one was out of fashion? Maybe she wanted a child, to keep Rhett, but he didn't even want one, but he was just afraid, and scared to forget Bonnie, but a little boy, a son would be so different, and who knew if another daughter would be so much like Bonnie, she could be different? She was picturing a new baby in her arms, and the world being perfect when Rhett tapped her shoulder.

"A penny for your thoughts? Or should I say gold?"

"Rhett, I'm imagining putting on all those clothes again just to go out to eat. i would be happier in my wrapper with cheese and crackers in here."

Rhett laughed, "Now you see why Yankees are such a miserable lot. Are you being nice to me now? Not mad anymore? Come get on your layers of wool, I know you want a hot decent meal."

Scarlett closed her eyes, "I guess I see your point, but I was hoping this was a second honeymoon for us."

Rhett looked at her pouting face through the mirror, "We are getting to know each other again, so I guess it is. Having you physically wasn't what I wanted the most, Scarlett, it was your heart, that doesn't have to be physical."

Scarlett listened to his riddles, "Talk English, Rhett."

"You want it in simpler terms?"

"You know what I mean."

"Well, this is it, I could have taken or left the physical part of our marriage, that's not why I was angry. It was the fact you never gave me your heart and your soul, that's where I felt left out. I wanted you to want and obsess over me, like you did over him."

Scarlett looked back at him in the mirror, "You have my heart, now, and you don't want it."

"YOu think you have to give it to me physically, you don't. You just have to love me, and surrender your heart, so that I am the only one."

"But, you are the only one-"

"It doesn't happen over night, the fact that I am so worried about you, that I would deny myself my carnal lust, that's love. You don't get it, not yet. And I'm not risking my heart until you do. And you don't have to risk your health or your life to prove it to me. Not to mention an innocent baby, we are in no way capable of being parents,maybe we never were."

Scarlett looked at his face, it was serious, but not in a mad way. Rhett was serious in a way that he cared about her, and she only wished she knew what the hell he wanted from her. How could she show him, he had her heart?

"Get my coat, you make my head hurt."


End file.
